Ep 619: The Shifts That Help Women Lead at Work and Be Present at Home With Alicia Ayala

Have you achieved success on paper but still feel overwhelmed, disconnected, or like something is missing?

In this episode of The Health Fix Podcast, Dr. Jannine Krause sits down with Alicia Ayala, Transformational Life & Leadership Coach, former Senior Director in Technology, speaker, and founder of the Inner Leadership Method, to explore how reconnecting with your authentic self can transform your health, career, and relationships.

After spending 22 years climbing the corporate ladder and preparing for a VP role, Alicia realized that external success wasn’t creating the fulfillment she expected. She left corporate leadership to help ambitious women, entrepreneurs, and working moms build lives rooted in alignment, self-trust, and purpose.

If you’ve ever struggled with balancing your career, your health, and your family while wondering why success doesn’t feel satisfying, this conversation is for you.

About Alicia Ayala

Alicia Ayala is a Transformational Life & Leadership Coach, speaker, and mother of two. Following a successful 22-year corporate career leading technology teams and founding Women in Technology (WIT), Alicia transitioned into coaching women who want to thrive in both their careers and personal lives without sacrificing themselves in the process.

Through her signature Inner Leadership Method, she helps ambitious women release limiting beliefs, strengthen self-trust, reduce overwhelm, and create lives aligned with their deepest values.

Resources From The Show:

• Alicia Ayala’s Website
• Alicia’s Her Alchemy 12 Week Program Discovery Call
• Instagram, Linked In
• Dr. Jannine Krause

If you enjoyed this episode, be sure to:
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Podcast Transcript

Chapters

00:00 Introduction and Name Misunderstanding
00:52 Navigating Work-Life Balance as Women
05:55 The Pressure of Societal Expectations
12:10 The Importance of Self-Trust and Clarity
17:51 Building Self-Trust Through Core Values
23:59 Understanding and Defining Core Values
28:21 Understanding Values for Better Relationships
34:25 Navigating Career Transitions and Authenticity
39:32 Redefining Success and Overcoming the Overachiever Trap
46:50 The Power of Visioning and Self-Trust
54:15 Coaching for Career Fulfillment and Personal Growth

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Jannine Krause (00:00.271)
Mm-hmm. Here we go. Alicia I probably should have double checked. Ayala, right? Okay. Alicia, Jesus.

Alicia Ayala (00:06.561)
Yes, and it’s Alicia.

Okay.

Jannine Krause (00:11.429)
Good thing we asked that be I should have asked that before. I usually do. I’m like, please tell me how to say your name properly ’cause I’m

Alicia Ayala (00:15.434)
It happens all the time. And either one of two things happened. I was just on a podcast not that long ago. And this guy was like, my gosh, I was so but I wasn’t nervous about the podcast. I was nervous I was gonna say your name wrong. So it’s Alicia Ayella, and it’s a lot of A’s and it gets confused all the time. So don’t worry about it.

Jannine Krause (00:34.819)
It’s triple A’s. It’s triple A’s. Okay. So yeah, I seriously knew it was Alicia. And then of course it comes out of my mouth like that. I’m like, what the f Okay. Here we go. Alicia Ayala, welcome to the Health Fix podcast.

Alicia Ayala (00:43.917)
Ha ha ha.

Alicia Ayala (00:49.794)
Thank you so much for having me, Janine.

Jannine Krause (00:52.589)
my goodness, this is fun. Cause we met like six months ago at this fabulous thing called BBD Live. And here we are, six months later, hanging out. I’m I’m super excited to really talk about something that in my practice a lot of folks are juggling with, but they might not like say it out loud to me because we’re working on like hormones and we’re working on gut stuff and things of that nature, but

The business and how we work with our own businesses versus how we work with corporate, what’s going on with the job, you know, and then trying to figure out home life is a big deal for so many folks. And you have cracked the code on this. So we have to dive into all of those things. And I think the first thing I want to mention, and just to kind of get folks who are listening here into where we’re going here is like we are sandwiched as as late 30s, early 40s.

To 50s year old women, we are sandwiched between the generation of like, mom may not have worked, mom may have worked. And then we’re looking at it going, like, wait, we are so close to the leave it to beaver days. So we’re seeing like all the responsibilities mom’s supposed to have. And then we’ve got this modern, you know, boss woman kind of thing going on. And we’re like, How do we figure this out? Did you find that was such a thing for you? Do you find even, you know, now in your head, do you see like

You’re constantly trying to tell your brain, like, well, wait a minute, it’s not nineteen fifty.

Alicia Ayala (02:17.996)
Yeah, I think it so first off, I can’t believe, like, before I answer that, I can’t believe it was six months ago. When you just said that, I was like, holy crap, that was six months ago. It’s June. so I so grateful that we met. so you know, I think the struggle that so many of us have is that what you just said, right? It’s like what we see becomes what we think is possible or what we think.

Jannine Krause (02:27.133)
I know, I know.

Alicia Ayala (02:45.044)
is available for us. And I think when we have, you know, in corporate specifically, there are, in my experience, there there are really a only a couple of what I like to call like archetypes that we see. And that is like the woman that doesn’t have kids and she’s working 80 hours a week. And then you have the the working mom who can’t, you know, maybe, you know, she she just she’s

you know, burning both ends and that those are your only two choices, or be a stay-at-home mom. And I think in modern day, like today, I think there are more and more of us that like there is something happening inside of us, like at a soul level, that’s like, no, this isn’t like I want something different. But yet when we look, there

are are not it just looks like there’s not very many options. So then we were like, well, and especially like me, I was always like very high achieving. I wanted both. So for me it was kind of like, well wait, why can’t I have both? It was j it was very confusing and I didn’t see anybody doing it well.

Jannine Krause (03:52.697)
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah. That’s kind of what I see, unfortunately. And then I see the health things that come out from it. And and how how long, you know, you were in 22 years, I saw in on your website. How long into 22 years were you like, this is interesting. How do I figure this out between this work life balance situation?

Alicia Ayala (04:02.072)
Pool.

Alicia Ayala (04:14.658)
Well, I think it’s interesting before you have kids, you know, I think you’re just, you know, I like to say like we’re as women, we have like a prescription that we’re handed without knowing it’s a prescription. And it w it’s what we’ve been told, what we’ve seen maybe, which is go graduate, go to college, f get a job, find a husband, get a home.

And so like we’re like cruising through life, kind of checking off the boxes. And then at some point, we have kids, and let’s just say you’ve worked your butt off, like so many of us had, like checking off the list, right? Doing all the things. And then you get to this point where you’re like, like, why don’t I feel good in this life?

You know, and I think that’s what happened for me. And that’s what I see with a lot of the women that I work with. We’re just checking off the boxes, but we’ve never like like we we put all this energy, blood, sweat, and tears in doing all those things, building our career. We didn’t really have to think about like how do we balance it or how do we do both. Cause we were just sort of doing it. But then when you have kids, you have like you have no choice. Because at that point, right, you don’t have as much time as you.

Once had. you know, so I think that’s when for a lot of women there’s this like point where you have to make a decision. And I think that’s where many of us feel stuck, at least I did and the women I work with, because I I wanted both. I didn’t want to say no to the career, the dreams that I had, but also I wanted to be there for my kids.

Jannine Krause (05:55.194)
Mm.

Alicia Ayala (05:55.841)
In a meaningful way, not like like I was there with them, but there were so many times I look back and I was there, but not really. They were getting the leftovers. I had no energy to be with them. So I think for me, it’s just like, it was this building my career for 22 years. and I did figure this out like probably the last three years of my career. and then I was like, holy crap, like how did I not figure this out sooner? But

It took me a while and it took me a lot of missed moments for me to recognize recognize that. But I think like we hit this point where something inside of us is nudging us. But we look and it looks like there’s no options. And then at some point we just miss too many moments and we’re like, I’ve got I’ve gotta make a change.

Jannine Krause (06:47.322)
Yeah, I can see that. I mean, the concept of of being present but not present is something that’s brought up a lot. And I I see it even though I don’t have children. I see it like I’m hanging with my husband and he’ll be like, Can we put down the phone today? can we not do an Instagram poster reel while, you know, we are out? Do we need the b roll? Like seriously. Like let’s let’s hang out. And it’s like, wow, I realize how much I miss out on things.

Alicia Ayala (07:15.266)
Yeah, so it’s interesting too when I left corporate, so I had figured this out. And this is like a really vulnerable thing that I’m gonna share, but I had figured this out. I was just like, I was in this senior role, I figured out how to do both, I’m gonna go help women do this, right? I literally, after I became an entrepreneur, started to repeat the same patterns that I had undone in corporate.

And I was so frustrated and like beating myself up about it because I’m like.

How could I figure it over out over in this context? But now my context changes, and I’m literally doing it again. But that’s what growth is, right? We grow in one way, and then you know, it’s like the next layer that I had to figure out, which was, you know, no, how can I do it in, how do I carry it with me in all contexts, not just one.

Jannine Krause (08:16.186)
Yes. Yes. And I think, I mean, that’s incredibly important to think about because I think a lot of people will think like I’m gonna get out of corporate and I’m gonna start my own business and it’s gonna be like amazing. And as we both know from how we met, the whole business journey, you know, it is a growth process. Now something I saw in in one of your masterclasses, I believe it was, was the the pillars. And and if you don’t have all the pillars in place,

In a certain context or take it to the next context, this is where you start repeating the same behaviors. Is that what you’re talking about right now?

Alicia Ayala (08:51.668)
Yes. I mean, so the three pillars that you’re mentioning are like the foundation like that I stumbled upon like accidentally. And then it was like me going back trying to figure out like what did I do to figure this out? but it’s like

So many of us haven’t paused to see or even ask ourselves. Because as women, we’re always externally facing. We’re always giving to somebody else. We’re always, and we’re never really, and I know you see this with health, because this is where a lot of women start to feel it. in their their health starts going. And that was me, that was one of my signs. I I pushed through though. I was like, I’m gonna sleep when I die. So I don’t need to sleep now.

But that is one of the things that I saw, you know, but it’s like pausing and knowing like who am I right now in this moment and what do I need in this season. So it’s having this like really clear clarity.

And I know this sounds super simplistic, but there’s like but really asking yourself and knowing like even success metrics, oftentimes we are grading ourselves on somebody else’s path.

Jannine Krause (10:12.57)
Mm.

Alicia Ayala (10:12.908)
You know, so if we’re judging our journey or what we want for our career or our business based on what Sarah, no offense, Sarah, if you’re watching, but Sarah over here, but but that’s not the goal or the dream that we have. We shouldn’t be judging ourselves on that, but we often do, you know, and so knowing like what are my I actually get to define what success means to me in this moment. So for me right now in business, it’s very different than what it was

When I was in corporate. And it’s different because my kids are now 13 and 10 than when they were four and they were seven. You know, so like we’re being able to pause long enough, but we’re in such a fast-paced society that we’re always just like trying to run to the next thing, thinking that next thing is going to give us what we need. When it really is a pause and going more internal that gives us.

Everything that we need. But it’s the clarity. The second piece is self-trust. I work with a lot of women that are high achievers and they’re like, I’ve lost my confidence. But what I’ve recognized, I used to say the same thing. I was like, but when people meet me, they’re like, you’re super confident. And every woman I talk to is very confident. So I was like, what is this? This is really interesting. So I realized though, it’s self-trust.

It’s not confidence. And when we are going after Sarah’s dream and not our own, we start to, and when we’re taking steps, we start to erode our self-trust, not confidence, because we’re going after things we don’t actually want. and even if we achieve them, it doesn’t feel good. And if we don’t achieve them, we’re beating ourselves up. So it’s like we’re losing these pieces of self-trust with our own self.

Jannine Krause (12:12.196)
Mm.

Alicia Ayala (12:12.832)
And so we, you know, getting clarity of who I am in this moment, what do I actually want? And then building that self-trust to go, no, I can go after that. And part of the self-trust too is being able to listen to this inner voice. So many of us, like I did, I’m just gonna use the health example with my health. Like I the inner voice was very loud, telling me, like, if you keep going this way, it’s going to be a problem. And I’m like, shush.

Jannine Krause (12:31.53)
Mm.

Jannine Krause (12:36.516)
Yeah.

Alicia Ayala (12:42.788)
Right? I I what didn’t necessarily trust that voice because I I had stopped listening. I I’m gonna go, I’m going after this goal, which I realized looking back wasn’t my own. And you know, and then the last piece is: can we embody that every day? How do we take this is who I am in this moment, here’s what I want in this season, here are my success metrics that are mine and mine alone.

Build back the self-trust to go, I can listen to my inner voice. I can go after that. And then when you start going after that, if that voice comes up in your head, not the voice of the inner, the inner voice, but the, you know, the voice that’s like, you can’t do this. Or, you know, your beliefs, your old beliefs coming up. Being being able to go, no, I know what truth is, and being able to move forward anyway. And so, like through these three.

Pillars, it really helps give women what what they’ve told me they feel lighter in going after the things that they actually want, not Sarah’s dream, and being unapologetic about their own goals and being there for their family. But like

Jannine Krause (13:52.794)
Mm.

Alicia Ayala (13:59.499)
Also that guilt starts to dissolve of feeling guilty about, I didn’t, I wasn’t with my kids today. Because they’re like, I am getting both like the different parts of my life are being fulfilled because I am intentional on a regular basis.

Jannine Krause (14:17.242)
Mm-hmm. That makes sense. That makes sense. And I think for you know, a lot of people the inner voice is a very interesting thing. Like the inner voice, and I call it the parrot on my shoulder. Like there’s or like my evil stepsister that I never had, kind of thing. You know, what whatever that is to you, it’s that little like, no, you can’t do it kind of blah blah blah in the in the back of your head. I think that for a lot of people, we shush it. And we and then even the deeper one, we we shove shove it down more. I just talked

I think a I think it was an Instagram post the other day about using heart rate variability to help me trust my intuition when it came to like I pushed myself too far because we if the more we sh shush and we push it down, then what happens, at least what I’ve found, is like, okay, then the health symptoms will get bigger, like you noticed. And then also what I’ve also seen with myself and and folks is that then I get these people saying to me, like, I

Alicia Ayala (14:56.366)
Interesting. Yeah.

Jannine Krause (15:15.716)
I don’t know how trust myself anymore. I’m not really sure if, you know, what I feel is really like the problem. You know, I’m not really sure if, you know, let’s say two glasses of wine really wear me out and I don’t sleep better. And, you know, the heart rate variability is like this big call out. Now, in terms of working with folks in your, you know, aspect of working with, you know, entrepreneurs and and working with senior level executives.

Alicia Ayala (15:32.45)
Yeah.

Jannine Krause (15:44.227)
What kind of things do you talk about in terms of trying to help trust yourself? What kind of little tricks can you do? Is there like a little game that you can play to be like, wait, I can trust myself? I’ve always wondered this. And so I’m just gonna ask you because my game is the HRV at this point.

Alicia Ayala (16:00.834)
Yeah, I love that because you’re using something, you know, that you can see that is like physical like tangible. So I think, you know, how we build self-trust back and being able to listen to that voice is like one of the most powerful things that I what we do over every week is sort over 12 weeks is sort of a micro thing that helps.

Jannine Krause (16:06.073)
Mm-hmm.

Jannine Krause (16:10.55)
Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.

Jannine Krause (16:27.108)
Mm-hmm.

Alicia Ayala (16:27.746)
You to build back that trust. But one of the things is like, I think, you know, knowing what your core values are. So if we know what our core values are and what we we I encourage people to use your core values for decision making. A lot of times we do these things like core values, I’m just gonna use, because I’ve worked with people who are like, well, I know my core values.

Jannine Krause (16:47.034)
Mm.

Alicia Ayala (16:53.386)
How do you use them with your decision making? Do you use them as a filter? Do you use them as a guide? Do you use them as your deciding on your next career move? So, but like most people do things, and I know you see this in the health space as well. And then we like put them on the shelf. Like I did it. It’s over here. We’re not actively using it.

Jannine Krause (17:12.196)
Yep. Yep.

Alicia Ayala (17:15.52)
It’s it like it doesn’t help you. So like leveraging core values, right? If we’re feeling, I feel like when something is coming up for somebody, I think one, we have to anytime something is coming up, like, I think I need to make a job change. I hear this a lot from women because we think a job change quitting corporate is gonna solve it. But it really is happening internally. So I think.

Jannine Krause (17:36.174)
Is gonna solve everything.

Alicia Ayala (17:42.966)
When we feel that, when that’s coming up, I think a couple things we can do to build back self-trust and listen to ourselves. One is like r flow journaling.

Like 10 to 12 minutes and you’re just writing. But like getting back to hearing yourself, I think is one of the key things. And it’s it’s a but it’s a muscle.

If you do it one day, it’s not gonna help you. It’s about doing it on a regular basis and being able to hear yourself again. And you will know when you’re writing it, and then you go back to read it if it’s truth or not truth. So you we we know this. We try to override it with our mind to say, well, that’s not real. so I think it’s like building that muscle back. So I I recommend and I love.

Of journaling on a regular basis to be able to recognize my own voice. So that when the a voice is coming up within me, I know whether it’s my higher self, my actual higher self voice, or just my mind replaying an old belief that actually has nothing to do with anything. It’s just a thought that I have thought.

on repeat. but core values is another thing that I just think is

Alicia Ayala (19:11.294)
One of these super simple things that are as often overlooked. So again, if you’re going to make a decision, it’s like go back, do they does it align to your core values? And if it doesn’t, then look at your core values to figure out like, well, what is actually coming up? I had a client do this and it was interesting. She came to me, she was like, I need to leave my job. I like I already know that. I just need your help leaving the job.

But through our work, one of the most important things that we did was core values. And she was one that was like, I already know my core values. And I was like, okay, let’s sit with these though and evaluate them with the decision that you’re making right now of leaving. Because you should use these then to go find a new job and make sure that it’s aligned to you, the manager.

Right? That you and what she realized was it wasn’t the company, it wasn’t her role. Her and her leader had a misalignment with core values. So every time her leader was actually asking her to go do something, it was triggering her.

Jannine Krause (20:09.834)
Mm.

Alicia Ayala (20:16.768)
And she thought her only choice was to leave the company and and quit the job because it was creating so much angst within her. And it really had to do with core values. So I think there’s a like a lot of little things that we can do, but I think one of the biggest things is to get really like get really, really quiet with ourselves and listen to what’s coming up, journaling about it and

Recognizing what is true for you in this moment and what’s actually coming up. Cause I do think all of these things that you know we say or think internally are there for us, but we’re in we’re so fast. We just want to move to we want to make a quick decision and we want to move forward. We don’t listen.

Jannine Krause (20:55.512)
Mm.

Jannine Krause (21:07.96)
Yeah. Absolutely. I mean it it’s so quick to be like, it’s just a job I’m out, you know, and and and let it go. And I know I’ve done that in the past with multiple different things. I think one of the biggest things that folks may be thinking about right now, they might be thinking, like, well, how do I figure out what my core values are? Do you use certain the ga I’m gallop maybe may I’m trying to think of the different ones online to find them. Which what do you use to to help with finding?

Alicia Ayala (21:34.319)
So, so I walk people through this in like during the program, but I’m gonna give you like what I do. You can go out and search for just go out online and search for core values. Find a list of core values, and then I’m gonna give you three steps to actually finding them and using your intuition to do it. So, your first step is like you just set a timer for three minutes, you have your list.

Jannine Krause (21:47.258)
Mm-hmm.

Jannine Krause (21:54.788)
Nice.

Alicia Ayala (22:02.282)
And you’re going to circle the ones that resonate with you. And you’re like, you’re gonna you’re they’re typically gonna be lists of like 50 to 65, something like this. You’re just gonna go through in three minutes to do that. Second round, you’re going to cross out the ones that are like, okay, maybe this one isn’t 100% resonant.

Jannine Krause (22:05.965)
Okay.

Alicia Ayala (22:25.87)
And then again in that round, you’re gonna do like one and a half minutes. And then you’re gonna do another round where you’re basically you’re gonna do it where you cut keep cutting down the time and you get down to your last five. But what I want like the five that really resonate with you. But what I want you to also pay attention to is what comes up.

while you’re looking for your core values. Because it’s really interesting. So much awareness comes up when people do this exercise. One, values that people want to have. And there’s like these things that come up that are holding them back related to this. So like I want to be a leader. Why did I not like, or if you’re, you know, you’re trying to decide between two and you’re like, no, I I pay attention to the ones that you’re closely holding on to.

Jannine Krause (22:59.332)
Mm.

Alicia Ayala (23:17.676)
And figure out why. Like what meaning are you giving it? What is it telling you about

Who you are or where you are right now in this moment. But like the biggest thing about core values is like some of those things that come up for us are really signs of something deeper that’s happening that can be really helpful in understanding our journey. But I think going through that process can help somebody figure out their core values very quickly. it doesn’t need to take long. It really you just five

you know, one and a half and then get down to your top five. Then you’re using that as your decision filter. And then I would say make sure that you’re not choosing them based on what you who who somebody has told you you are.

Don’t choose them based on like your mom always told you you need to be this type of person. That was what I did. I was like, I kept like, you know, and and it’s just and and don’t let it mean anything about who you are. So I had somebody I did a talk on this group of like 90 people and this guy stood up as I’m doing this talk and he’s like

Jannine Krause (24:13.284)
Meet you.

Alicia Ayala (24:31.724)
Well, so I don’t have family. So now I don’t, I I don’t I’m not a family person, huh? And he was like so angry. So here’s the thing: like, just because family doesn’t come up doesn’t mean that you’re not family, a family person, or you don’t love your family. It’s just like these are your guiding pillars for your soul on what feels good.

And what’s aligned to you in your life, again, it doesn’t mean that you don’t love your family. Or if you don’t choose love, it doesn’t mean that you’re a hateful person.

Jannine Krause (25:05.754)
my gosh. I mean, I could see how that happens though, because in the times that I’ve done this and I’ve done this a couple of times throughout my life, I’ve found that like, yeah, I I always diverted at in the beginning of doing this to like what I thought w I was supposed to say, what my family kind of was like, that’s what you’re like, you know, and I was like, my God, I can’t even I don’t even know what my own values are because I can’t even think for myself. Now this is a problem.

Alicia Ayala (25:32.109)
Yeah. And I think when you get to your top five, it helps to explain like they should make sense. And you can go like, my gosh, this makes so much sense. And I also think that when we look at them, we can see, like, for example, one of mine is freedom.

And I have like I always struggled in corporate because I d if I worked for a leader that wanted me to like I call them butt-in-seat leaders that like want you to be in your butt in your seat from like eight to five and they judge your you know performance based on this. Even in high-level roles, it’s so strange. But anyway, I struggled with those types of leaders because freedom is really important. Like I need autonomy to be creative, to work the way that I want.

to work and I always struggled if I had a leader that was did not give me that. And it makes a lot of sense because freedom is a real like is one of my top five, you know, values. So it really helped me to see like, my gosh, like it made it made so many things make sense.

Jannine Krause (26:45.55)
Yeah. I I mean every time I’ve done it, eventually once I’ve star done it myself, not with the voice of other people, I’ve found that and I found that, you know, even looking in health, the values are important too, because I think a lot of people will go after health goals through the lens of different values that weren’t theirs. And now, you know, if we’re looking at weight loss and and and we’re looking at some of the deeper things of sticking with with habits and and routines and behaviors.

Alicia Ayala (26:53.815)
Yeah.

Jannine Krause (27:14.862)
We give up on ’cause we we haven’t tied to our values.

Alicia Ayala (27:18.016)
Yeah, that’s a really good point. Yeah, I can totally see that.

Jannine Krause (27:23.022)
Yeah, it’s something I’ve you know, if I can’t, you know, stress enough, this is one of the best ways to look inward is to do the the values and and see because it also tells us and and probably you can speak a little to this too, is like it it helps us to interact with our partners as well. If we know their values and we know ours. And leaders, our leaders too, ’cause that interaction.

Alicia Ayala (27:47.395)
Yes. I I think really understanding your values. like one of the things I talk a lot about is this in y just like what you just said about health, like again, values help us to center. It’s like, you know, it’s a compass.

Jannine Krause (28:00.632)
Mm.

Alicia Ayala (28:00.992)
So that we’re not always leaning on externally. Well, I’m supposed to do this thing, like you said, like health related, or I’m supposed to do this thing. Values really allows you, allow you to center on what is true for me. Because again, we can’t worry about other people. But also it helps us to understand our relationships. Like you said, a lot of my clients will do this. I did this with my husband. A lot of my clients will do that this with their with their husbands.

but also I’ve had clients do it with their teams to just better understand like if my team, if I understand my own values, share them with everybody, and I understand other people’s values, I am able to meet people where they’re at and understand them better.

Jannine Krause (28:34.894)
Mm.

Alicia Ayala (28:49.548)
but I also think it’s a great tool for when we’re looking for a new role or if we’re even deciding, do I want to work with this person? Sometimes, you know, we can feel, and again, this is where I feel like that inner voice is coming up, but we don’t trust it. So we can feel like, I maybe don’t want to work with this leader, but I don’t know why. And we kind of we maybe think, I mean, I’ve done this where I’m like, this must be a me thing. So I should just push through. And then I maybe go work with that.

Jannine Krause (29:05.05)
Mm-hmm.

Alicia Ayala (29:19.232)
Person, and I’m like, my god, this is like a horrible relationship. This is not working. when if I could have looked at my values first, that helps again bringing us back into our own center to go, okay, what is my inner inner world telling me versus just relying on, well, maybe this person is a great leader, as other people have told us.

But not the right leader for me.

Jannine Krause (29:47.322)
Mm.

Jannine Krause (29:50.585)
Yeah. Yeah. And absolutely, ’cause I think we’re and and I don’t know how much this is a woman thing versus a societal thing, but we do feel like we have to morph if we want to go after this particular business and that’s you know, we want to be in this particular corporation with this particular leader because we look up to them and then we get there and we’re like, I have to be someone completely different to roll in this. Do you see that with a lot of folks?

Alicia Ayala (30:12.514)
Yeah.

Alicia Ayala (30:16.618)
Yeah, you know, I had this, I worked with this, my god, this like it’s smart, intelligent, highly qualified senior HR leader. And she was like, I’m not landing any of the roles that I want, you know, and I was helping her while she was in transition between companies. And when we got to the values and she figured out her values, I was like, okay, I’m curious, are you showing up as this person?

And that is one of the things she recognized. She was not showing up as herself. She was morphing into who she thought they wanted. And I was like, but what if you just showed up as this person? Then they’re gonna hire you for who you are and you’re gonna find a better fit than if you tried to be somebody different. And no joke, the moment she switched.

And she just started showing up as herself. She got a job.

And I’ve had other people, I’ve talked to other people about this too. you know, this other woman, she’s like, I she was very like comedy humor was one of her top five values. But she was like, in in I I can’t bring that to an interview. And I’m like, why?

And she I I’m like, like, you shouldn’t make a joke about the person, but you can bring still bring humor. Like maybe don’t, you know, insult the boss. But but if you were humorous, and the interesting thing, she came to this conclusion just in our own interaction, but our interaction, she was, because she was trying to not be humorous, she came across really rigid, which was not who she was.

Jannine Krause (31:41.604)
Right.

Jannine Krause (32:05.464)
Mm, yeah.

Alicia Ayala (32:07.798)
She’s like this very playful, fun person that you’d want to have on your team. And that is not at all how she came across. And I was like, and so she was able to see that. But I do think that that happens. We do try to morph into the environments that we’re in. You know, we try to

Be, you know, the things that we’re told. I think about, you know, you mentioned at the beginning, I think about, and I I hate this term, but like boss babe, right? When I first came into yes, entrepreneurship, I’m like, so boss babe is like my option. Like, I don’t even know what that means. But like I personally don’t resonate with that. So then if I’m trying to be boss babe, I’m not being me, you know, and that

Jannine Krause (32:38.223)
Yeah.

Alicia Ayala (32:57.924)
Is not who I am. I am much more like, you know, I am, I want to be with my kids, I want to run a business, I want to help women, like that’s it. I don’t want to be an influencer. I’m just here to help other women struggle less than I did, but not trying to morph into being something else. but in entrepreneurship, I feel like it’s the same too. You have like these couple of archetypes that we see.

Jannine Krause (33:26.01)
Have it.

Alicia Ayala (33:26.346)
But there are so many other options. And I think that’s where when you know yourself, when you know what your values are, you you can take ownership and show up as you.

Jannine Krause (33:38.787)
Which, you know, I think is so important. Cause yes, that’s that was what came to my head was that boss babe thing. But I’m like, I I’m, you the whole like, I got you, boo, con thing. I’m like, so not me. So not me. that’s just it makes me laugh. But at the same time, one of the things that I’m hearing from a lot of women who are have maybe been

Alicia Ayala (33:50.253)
Yeah.

Jannine Krause (33:59.001)
out of the field for a while, like maybe they did the corporate game for a little bit, had some kids, took a pause, right? And then now they’re trying to get back in. One of the things that I keep hearing and and even for folks who are in their late 50s and and early 60s and some in the mid 60s and don’t want to necessarily retire, I’m hearing that it’s kind of harder to figure out how to get back in the game or how to, you know, really navigate a corporate position these days. And you know

I’m not gonna lie, I do think that there is some a little bit of ageism that is happening. But I think, you know, this concept of being yourself is so much more important now. I it I think it is.

Alicia Ayala (34:40.278)
Yeah, I agree. Like, so I I think it’s interesting. So I for the people that are watching that this is an issue, I just want to share. I I am also part of an executive T like transition services team. And at the company that I consult with

There are it’s all like there are executives in transition or people coming back into the field. And so one of the things that I have heard repeatedly and what I have seen that actually works is like it and it’s like going back old school. It’s networking, it’s relationship building. And what you just said though, like being very

Jannine Krause (35:05.902)
Mm-hmm.

Alicia Ayala (35:25.878)
you know, authentic and real and just being yourself. I think that there are lots of people who would hire somebody coming back into the workforce. But not if, you know, but like again, you have to own all of your skills, right? And and I think sometimes we get in our heads about, well,

I imagine. And I’ve worked with companies as well, because I really believe in moms coming back into the workforce. As a really I’m a big advocate of moms coming back into the workforce. Moms should always be hired because they are so probably overly qualified for any role because they are can multitask, they are operationally efficient, they are just like there’s a million things I can say. But I’m a big advocate of that. But I think being able to

To translate, like, here’s what I did before, here’s what I there’s probably things they did while they were at home with the kids that translates to a new role that they’re looking for. And then I think just that relationship building and the networking. So the women that I work with right now in this you know, this at this company, there is, and I’ve heard this, there is some ageism that happens for sure.

I know we’d all love to believe that that doesn’t happen, but I also think when we show up ourselves, when we’re aligned to what we actually want versus again going after Sarah’s dream, you know, or what we think we’re supposed to do.

I I think that things start to happen for us and things start to come together. I think networking, genuine networking, like you just you start reaching out to people that you knew before and you’re not asking for anything. You’re just looking to reconnect and start making those you know, those connections again. People genuinely want to help.

Jannine Krause (37:26.756)
I agree. I agree. It’s great, great advice because I think, you know, what I’ve noticed anyway, and you’ve probably seen this too, with with all the AI, with all the online stuff, and and especially since the pandemic times, I think we really are craving human like connection and and chatting with other folks instead of being like some, you know

Alicia Ayala (37:42.882)
Yes.

Jannine Krause (37:47.451)
person that’s just stuck behind the screen. I mean, I I definitely love, I still go to Washington for that reason. I will go see my people every quarter when I can so that I have that connection. And I think a lot of people do that because, you know, it’s just it’s important. And so, you know, I I I just I just hear a lot of women in in a stage of life right now where they are struggling a little bit with with getting back into the game. Or unfortunately another thing that happens too is a lot of folks need to stay working.

longer at this point. And and now it’s like, how do we, how do we feel good? How do we not compromise our health? How do we stay on top of all these things? And you know, definitely the values. Like I I couldn’t say enough about that. Now you have a method, your inner leadership method. And I know the pillars are part of this. What other things can can we enlighten folks about that they can start pondering a little bit to

Alicia Ayala (38:19.02)
Yeah. Yeah.

Jannine Krause (38:45.86)
Help with, you know, fulfillment in their career and also not let it take over their health because we know how this goes if we don’t get on top of it.

Alicia Ayala (38:54.986)
One of the biggest things that I see and hear, and one of my biggest issues was this, like, and I think it’s the overachiever, the high performer. we’ll call it the high performer trap. Is like, I need to say yes to everything. I need to give 150% as it relates to work. And I always need to be giving. And then.

Jannine Krause (39:05.562)
Mm-hmm.

Alicia Ayala (39:22.688)
When I do that, I will get some prize, right? Like we we believe like there’s a promotion at the end of this, or there’s, you know, but the promotions don’t are not given to the person who works 150%. They’re just not. The promotion is given to the person that is leading, that is showing that they add value.

Jannine Krause (39:27.965)
Yeah.

Alicia Ayala (39:50.772)
and the person that shows up a certain way.

And I think when you are this person who’s giving 150%, you’re probably not taking care of yourself. You might show up not as a leader, even though you’re trying to be. You might be showing up as like I am this overwhelmed individual who’s just doing a lot and just but you can count on me, right? And

It it does a couple of things. One, I think it, you know, your giving, and this happened to me, and I I see this so much. We get resentful of the company, we get resentful of the people we work with, and we’re like, why aren’t they noticing me? But this is not a company problem, and I don’t mean to be a jerk here. This is not a company problem. I this is not a husband problem. I used to get really angry with my husband, like, why does he have it so easy?

It was a me problem because I couldn’t say no. I gave 150%, and I thought that it was going to result in a promotion. And what changed for me was I had this moment that was devastating, that still sticks with me today, where I’m leaving for an executive meeting.

I’ve got my two kids in tow, four and seven-year-old. It’s a Minnesota winter, so we’re getting all geared up. So we’re kind of sweaty. It’s a stressful moment. I’m like, my gosh, we have to get out at this exact moment. We get into the car. Seven-year-old gets herself in. The four-year-old, I go to put her in the car seat and she arches her back.

Alicia Ayala (41:39.561)
And she will not get in. And she’s screaming at the top of her lungs. And this goes on. I mean, it felt like it was 30 minutes, it was probably two. And in this like stressful moment, I like scream swore at her. And she stops wide-eyed. And she looks at me, puts her lip out, and she starts crying. But now it’s a different cry. She knows I’ve called her a bad name.

And I just remember holding her to me and being like, no executive meeting, no meeting is worth this. And it was in that moment that I was like, I have to figure this out. I wanna do both and I wanna do it better. And one of the key things that I did was this what I had said earlier, like redefining your success metrics. All of my success metrics were really tied up in how much can I work? What promotion can I get next?

W what am I gonna get? You know, none of it and sadly looking back, none of it was around how much time am I spending with my kids? How happy am I? You know, how is my health?

Like it was just this one pillar. And I kept thinking, and I did, like, I will rest when I die and I’ll figure out these other things later, right? But in that moment, it forced me to change. And one of the things, like, I redefined my success metrics, and it was like, no, I want to be with my kids when I’m with my kids. Like that was success for me. I want to have breakfast with them two days a week and not feel stressed. Wanna come home? I’m gonna put my phone away and I will have the

This much time one day a week that I can open my laptop after they go to bed. It was like these types of things. I want to work out three days a week, right? It’s like I was like the and then I did this for the next six months. I stopped saying yes to everything. Like there it there’s more to it, but the craziest thing happened, which I never saw coming. Six months later, I got promoted to a senior director.

Alicia Ayala (43:42.187)
Because guess what? When I put myself, like just prioritize myself just a little bit and my family and the things that I loved, I was happier and I showed up as a better leader and it was noticed. And then a year and a half after that, I was being promoted to VP. So I

Working all these hours d is not what equates to getting a promotion. so I think if you know, I don’t even remember what the question you asked, Janine, but I ended up on this tangent. Apparently it needed to be said.

Jannine Krause (44:20.782)
I it’s all part of your inner leadership method. So I think it’s you know it’s

Alicia Ayala (44:24.268)
Yes, thank you. Yes. So redefining success. I mean, boundaries, understanding, I think understanding where we’re saying yes, when we really like I I like resentful yeses. We say yes, but we feel resentment. I think paying attention to those. And I think this comes up too in marriage, right?

When we keep saying yes, if our husbands are going out golfing, and what we really mean no, like no, I need a day, you know, and like where are we having those resentful yeses that we actually mean no, then we should say no. Because if we say yes, we’re automatically then saying no to something else that is actually something that we need. And so I think paying attention to those.

are really important. I think the other thing that we talk a lot about is language patterns. So paying attention to our own language patterns, like what are the things that you’re thinking the most often? Because that is what’s creating your life. And if you’re thinking the most often like I hate my career, my life sucks, that like then you you need to focus there.

Like focus on like, does it really like does your career really suck? Or is it like, I I tell people, and I tell my kids this too to get really clear. Is it that the job sucks or is it something different? Is it like, cause most of the time when I have people start breaking this down, it isn’t the job that sucks. It’s like, my I don’t like that my boss calls me into his office at 4 p.m. at the end of the day. Let’s just say, as an example.

Okay, well then now that you know what it actually is and it’s not the job, it’s this one thing your boss does. Maybe you can have a conversation with him, you know? And then what if you have that conversation and suddenly he’s like, well, I you’re always here at that time. I thought it worked better for you. Like this is a real example. Or I had another client who was like, my job is frustrating, they won’t promote me, and they never let me have lunch.

Alicia Ayala (46:36.494)
I was like, they never had let you have lunch? Like, what is this? And this was a her thing. She wouldn’t let Git let herself have lunch. Lit no joke. Yeah, she like was not allowing herself to eat.

Jannine Krause (46:45.518)
My gosh.

Alicia Ayala (46:50.444)
Because she felt guilty that she wasn’t doing enough. So it’s like we create these things and when we start peeling back, like, is it the job that sucks? Is it that you’re not getting a promotion because your boss hates you, or is it actually you’re not getting a promotion because you’re not leading? And the first person you have to lead is yourself. You know? And I think the other big thing that we do is visioning.

Jannine Krause (47:10.641)
my gosh, yes. Yes.

Alicia Ayala (47:17.846)
And this is so hard for women to do. What is your one-year dream? What is your five-year dream? And it’s so crazy because when I have women write this down, well, one, they have the hardest time doing this. They’re like, well, when you say dream, is it like, you know, what kind of dream are we talking about? I’m like, no, like whatever you would want for your life. But their brain kicks on and they start like holding themselves back.

And the coolest thing though happens when we get past the noise and it’s like, no, write down, like if if there was, if you could do anything with your life, and I’m not talking like you’re saying you want you’re gonna be an astronaut, but like I’m talking about like real things that you wanna do, right? Like I have a client that wanted to grow her business and she wanted to be a certain type of trainer, and she but she had to go get the certification, but she was like, I don’t know, it’s too big.

And I’m like, for who? Like, who is it to who like who told you that, right? So I was like, write it down. Like, don’t edit yourself. Like, literally, it’s you and yourself, and you’re editing yourself. Like nobody is judging this or grading it. So she writes it all down, one year, five year, we review it, but it was hard. But the and then I’m like, okay, now vision, envision this. And the craziest thing, and you know this because I know you’ve done some of this work too. Here we are.

Her five-year goal, we are six months into working together. She’s literally going after this train that it fell into her lap that this exact thing that she wanted, somebody reached out to her and gave her an opportunity. And now she’s scared because she’s like, Well, this was on my five-year list. And I’m like, she’s like, it’s not even a year. Am I ready? Of course you are. Of course you are. But like, we stop dreaming.

Jannine Krause (49:09.594)
my gosh. my gosh.

Alicia Ayala (49:16.716)
We stop seeing what is possible. So, like I would say that is the other thing. Inner leadership, what the best leaders at all the big companies do, they have a vision for where the company’s going. The best entrepreneurs, they have a vision for the business. We can do the same exact things with thing with our own life. What is the vision for your life? And then let’s build back self-trust and let’s go create that.

Because it’s a hundred percent possible.

Jannine Krause (49:50.243)
I love that you say that it’s 100% possible and with such conviction. Because so many people I’ll say these things and they’ll be like, hmm, I don’t know. You know, because we’ve just gotten to the point where we’ve gone on autopilot, we’ve resigned ourselves to like this is the way it’s gonna be. There’s nothing I can do. I hear this so often from clients, and I’m like, my gosh, no wonder you don’t feel good. Like you have basically pigeonholed yourself into a corner where

Alicia Ayala (50:14.819)
Yeah.

Jannine Krause (50:19.318)
you don’t see a way out. And I I just love that you’re saying that and I love that people just keep it more and more people are saying it. So I’m like, okay, guys, it must be true.

Alicia Ayala (50:21.591)
Yeah.

Alicia Ayala (50:29.962)
It it is. And I know this because I’ve done it so many times in my life where like sh I’m not saying I’m immune to stuff comes up all the time. But

What happens is I have tools where I’m like, I know what’s happening in my brain. I see what’s going on. And I give women these same tools. The other, the other thing I wanted to say about that though, is that there’s three big things that I think we think are things that we see in other people that we find inspirational. And we’re like,

That person, you know, like they did that. They can do that. But there’s three big things I think that we see or that other people do that inspire us, that we think are things that are like skills that only this person has, but they are skills that are muscles. So they literally just are something that we can do. We just have to do it once and then repeat it. but like those things are the first one I would say is like awareness.

This sounds so silly. Like, this is a skill, this is a tool. Every single person though that decided to make a change or do something in their life, the first thing that they had to do was get aware of, become aware of what do I want? What’s getting in my way? What are my habits? My patterns. And then like, right? Like they had to become aware. So that is the first thing. And that is a muscle. And this is like something we practice all the time because.

Jannine Krause (51:56.622)
Mm-hmm.

Alicia Ayala (52:04.502)
We it’s it’s easy to be unaware and we are unaware when we’re in autopilot. We’re unaware when we’re constantly in noise because we can’t hear ourselves. You know, and the noise is so real with our phones, with our computers, with constantly working, with the fast-paced lifestyle, right? So it’s like peeling some of those things back, even carving out a little bit of time so we can create an environment that allows for awareness.

But the second thing is I think taking ownership.

We have like the moment we take ownership and can and and this is again part of inner leadership, taking ownership of our life. Like I get to decide. I get to choose. And then the third one is like getting really good at making decisions. So I think part of like a I hear a lot of people say, like, I’m stuck. We’re not stuck. When we say you’re stuck.

There is this one thing that’s happening, and that’s you don’t want to make a decision. And decisions become easier. Again, it’s a muscle. You have to make a decision and go down a path that maybe is the wrong path, but you’ll learn something, and then you get better at making decisions. We have to make decisions quickly and then act on them. And those are all skills that are.

Jannine Krause (53:20.238)
Mm-hmm.

Alicia Ayala (53:37.056)
we can develop, but those are like when you see somebody who inspires you, they did those three things.

Jannine Krause (53:44.843)
Nice. Nice. so good. So good to ponder on that. And I think, you know, whether someone’s struggling with their health or career, this is all relevant. You know, this is really about getting to know our inner self and and your inner leadership, Matt. That I mean, this is like we can lead ourselves into good health. We can also lead ourselves into bad health. We can, you know, lead ourselves into great careers and fulfilled careers on our terms, and then we can lead ourselves into

corners basically, you know? And this is just a great way to really look at life. So I would love for you to talk about your one-on-one coaching. And also you’ve got this new coaching cohort coming up here in July. So for those of you listening to this, you got about a month because it’s June of 2026. And is it is it her alchemy? Is that what you’re calling it? Or okay. Tell us more.

Alicia Ayala (54:16.472)
Yes, yeah.

Alicia Ayala (54:38.606)
For alchemy, yes. Mm-hmm.

Yeah, so my one-on-one is a six-month container. And we this is for somebody that is really looking for more like, you know, we work together on a regular basis. It’s one on one. we’re going deeper on everything. You get that one-on-one attention on, you know, if you’re contemplating a career shift, if you’re contemplating, you know, I’m ready. Like I’ve, you know, I have, I’ve had kids, I’m ready for.

That next growth move, and I want somebody to be my partner in helping me get there. That is what this, the one on one coaching, really helps you to do. and we you still get her alchemy. Her alchemy is my signature program. It’s but it’s, you know, and the inner leadership method is a part of that, but you we walk through that, but together. And then you also get it’s three months of her alchemy and that doing that program together, and then three months of.

lots of integration so that you you learn these things and then it’s three months of you’re out in the wild and you know we’re working together as you run into things. and this is a great way to propel your career, help with job transition if you’re contemplating a new shift. The Her Alchemy group coaching, which launches in a month or opens in a month,

So the the next cohort will start. This is 12 weeks of the Her Alchemy content, and you’re doing this with a small cohort of other women. So there’s no one-on-one, but you get the community. You get a private WhatsApp group where I’m in there, you know, coaching in between sessions and we meet weekly. You meet other women that are going through the same things you’re going through and you have a community to lean on. I think the coolest thing that I’ve seen with the group is so.

Alicia Ayala (56:39.48)
Often we feel like we are alone in our journey. And the coolest thing is watching these women connect and go, my gosh, you feel that same way? Me too. And they’re like, I found my like it’s good, not that we want other people to suffer because we don’t, right? But it’s good to know, like, I this is just not a me thing. There are other people going through this, and we get to do it together. So we go through this 12 weeks and working through visioning, working.

Through core values, learning our language patterns and how to overcome them, overcoming our biggest fear stories, the things that we all have a story that prevents us from moving forward. And it’s like, how do we overcome that and really dissolve that so that that is not something that keeps us stuck? And we do these micro things over 12 weeks. And at the end, I hear it from every single woman that I work with, which is I

I feel lighter. I’m unapologetic about the things that I want in my life. And the coolest thing, like there is this self-trust and this like, I literally can make choices and go after what I want in my life. And it’s, it’s beautiful.

Jannine Krause (57:55.001)
And this is what I want for so many people because I do feel like for a lot of the health issues, for a lot of the hormones that like we I give the hormones, we try to balance the hormones, and there’s just some little things that just seem outstanding. I feel like if we got the career dialed in, boom, all that stuff goes away. That is how I look at it.

Alicia Ayala (58:13.336)
I you know what? I 100% agree because I’ve seen this with myself. The hormones. I had hormone issues, I had thyroid issues, I my hair was falling out. When I started making decisions that were aligned to what I actually wanted versus I was fighting my inner world, it was amazing how those things many of those things resolved.

Jannine Krause (58:39.832)
I’ve no doubt. I’ve no doubt I’ve seen it in myself too. And I think that if we can leave anything for for the end of this podcast, it’s that there’s potential for your health and your career and you can weave it into one. And Alicia has some seriously good help for you here. Now tell everybody your website, like socials, so we can get a hold of that as well.

Alicia Ayala (59:00.704)
Yes, so I’m primarily on LinkedIn and I’m at it’s Alicia Ayala and then I’m also on Instagram and my website is alisiaayella.com and you can find me there.

Jannine Krause (59:14.466)
Excellent. Excellent. Of course, we’ll have everything in the podcast notes down below at drjkrausnd.com. And don’t forget to follow me on Instagram because I will be having little short snippets from this podcast in addition to a post. And then if you’re watching on YouTube, there are going to be lots of fun YouTube shorts too that you can catch and share with your friends that might be struggling in this area as well. Alicia, thank you so much for coming on. I sincerely appreciate it.

Alicia Ayala (59:39.842)
Janine, I I am so thankful that we met and thank you for having me today. It was it was I I love chatting with you, so this was fun.

Jannine Krause (59:48.834)
gosh. No doubt this will not be the last one that we do together. Thanks again.