Ep 513: Beyond Comparison: Finding Strength in Sisterhood With Alicia Kay

Episode Overview: In this episode, Dr. Jannine Krause is joined by Alicia Kay, a Licensed Mental Health Counselor (LMHC), Certified EMDR Clinician, Certified Life Coach, and Certified Somatic Release Breathwork Practitioner. Alicia has 19 years of experience supporting clients through childhood wounding, trauma, relationship challenges, and more. She’s also the host of the Alive & Awake podcast, where she helps women reclaim their sovereignty and connect with their true selves.

Together, they discuss the rising rates of eating disorders, mental health challenges, and body dysmorphia among women and how society’s pressures push women into a cycle of competition and comparison. The episode dives deep into how women can shift from this mindset to one of authentic beauty, connection, and support for one another.

Resources From The Show:

• Alicia Kay – Alive & Awake Podcast: Dive deeper into topics around self-worth, healing, and reclaiming personal power with Alicia’s podcast.
• 3 Most Unhealthy Beliefs About Yourself: A guide to identifying and overcoming negative self-beliefs. Grab this on Alicia’s website – aliciakaycoaching.com
• Subscribe to Alicia’s Newsletter: Stay updated on the launch of her online course, Wake Up to Your Worth and End the War Within Your Soul, focused on overcoming negative self-talk and embracing your true self.

Tune in for a powerful conversation about how women can move beyond societal expectations and support each other in living authentically and confidently.

Our Partners

Podcast Transcript

TAGS:  Alternative Medicine, Chinese Medicine, Natural Medicine, Holistic Medicine,

4:15 – The journey

7:41 – Raising your energy to heal your body

9:21 – Ways to slowing down aging

12:01 – What is “your energy”?

14:36 – Optimizing your health

17:42 – Where to begin pulling yourself out of the comparison cycle

30:42 – Enhancing appearance because it lights you up inside or because your afraid of your natural appearance?

34:29 – Using a mirror

44:30 – How do older women connect with younger women?

47:48 – Explants

53:18 – The power of the words you speak

55:03 – Where to find Alicia Kay online

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[Preview] Watch your words because they’re very creative

Right people think that words are descriptive and that we’re describing things, but we’re actually creating things words are ones

You know what wand and what magic are you creating with the words that are coming out of your mouth

Right your your body will tell you what it wants and what it doesn’t want

Down to the products you use down to the things you’re putting into it and it will have a reaction if it

If it rejects the artificial things that you’re choosing to do.

And again, everyone has their own journey about that.

Like it’s a very personal choice and decision.

JANNINE: Hey, Health Junkies.

On this episode, The Health Fix Podcast,

I brought back Alicia Kay.

Alicia has spent the last 19 years

as a licensed mental health counselor

and a certified EMDR clinician.

She’s specializing in supporting clients who struggle

with childhood wounding, physical and sexual trauma,

relationship issues, addictions, and much more.

In addition to her work as a psychotherapist,

she is also a certified life coach

and certified somatic release breath work practitioner.

Now, Alicia is all about teaching clients

how to accept all parts of themselves

to achieve balance and equilibrium

within their mind, body, and spirits.

So it manifests in their external world.

And so today on The Health Fix Podcast,

Alicia and I are diving into all kinds of things,

like how to use your words as magic

for manifesting great things in your life,

but also talking about the collective

and how us women can work together versus compare

and break each other down.

And we even get to talk about the golden girls for a minute

’cause who doesn’t like the golden girls?

Now we have a fun podcast for you and really,

It’s a moving one because it’s so important in this time

for us ladies to really look at what we’re consuming

on social media, what we’re consuming on TV

and really understanding, is it helping

or is it hindering us?

And take a hard look at the things you say to yourself

and the things you were thinking about yourself.

Now, some of these things could be old programming

from childhood, things you’ve heard,

things you gave meaning to.

Yes, these things are all relevant and things that you can change to help empower yourself

and really move yourself forward.

So if you’re struggling with body image, you’re struggling with your health, you’re struggling

with anything in life and feeling a little bit alone and looking for a tribe or kind of

figuring out your space in life, this podcast is for you.

So let’s reintroduce you to Alicia Kay.

[Intro] Welcome to the Health Fix Podcast, where health junkies get their weekly fix of tips,

tools, and techniques to have limitless energy, sharp minds, and fit, physiques, or life.

JANNINE: Alicia Kay, welcome back to the Health Fix Podcast.

ALICIA: Thank you so much for having me, Janine.

I’m excited to be here again.

JANNINE: Well, we’ve had such a fun time chatting with things since our original podcast.

And now, because you have your own podcast, which by the way, guys is “Alive and Awake

With Alicia”, great podcast.

She’s had some awesome guests and wow, good stuff there.

And of course, one of the things that I thought of just in chatting with Alicia and just listening

to my client’s talk is really this concept of authentic beauty versus trying to do all

the things to have us look 20 years younger.

And we see it on social media all the time.

Look 20 years younger.

better than you ever did.

And it’s like, is that realistic?

What do we do here?

So of course we’re gonna kind of keep that as our theme today.

But first and foremost, I always like to ask folks

in terms of their own journey with aging and beauty.

And if you don’t mind sharing with us,

what kind of things have you looked at

in terms of your body, your skin, hair, whatever it may be?

and then like, man, I really need to do something

or should I do something?

What do I do here?

Or even if you found yourself doing the comparison game?

ALICIA: It is such a journey that we go through as women.

And I think the first thing to understand

is that it is a journey.

And it’s a journey of self discovery

and self acceptance to eventually self love.

And for me, it started shaming my body

and trying to change my body in my 20s

where I was really competitive,

I got into bodybuilding.

I thought that if I could make my body look a certain way

or look perfect or I could complete this challenge,

then maybe I would accept myself

or maybe I’d be happy with myself

or maybe I would find the love of my life to come in

and rescue me like all the things that we do as women

where it was about trying to change the way I looked

so that I could change the way that I feel.

And of course that doesn’t work

because with that I developed an eating disorder

and a form of like body dysmorphia

where anytime I looked in the mirror

all I saw was like fat or overweight

or you know like when you’re you know 12% body fat

as a woman which is so incredibly unhealthy.

And then to have that image in my mind

to use for the rest not not now not anymore

I’ve worked through that.

but for so many years to look at myself in the mirror

and compare myself to that image.

And I think we all do that, right?

It doesn’t matter if you’re 12% body fat,

but I work with so many clients too,

that are like, oh, you know, when I was 20 pounds lighter,

I used to judge myself and now I’m heavier

and I’m still judging.

Like we’re always comparing ourselves to a different version

of what we used to look like or what we should look like,

which is this inner critic and adversarial voice

that we have, and it took me a really long time to heal,

like my binge eating disorder, to heal the yo-yo dieting

that I used to do, and really get to a place of love

and acceptance for my healthy body

and my healthy version of myself.

And it has been a journey with aging as well,

around looking, you know, seeing pictures that are taken

and seeing wrinkles and having to really dial in my ego

and my fear and the program that I know that I’m running on

that isn’t my real self, that has to look at that

as a beautiful thing and not a judgmental thing anymore.

And I think that that’s what we’re being called toward, right?

There’s authentic beauty and aging

versus this artificial glamour that we’ve bought into

from a societal perspective that doesn’t work,

brings more unfulfillment, brings feelings of failure

and more fear and more holding on to that

as our energetic state, we age faster.

JANNINE: Yeah, I believe that because I mean,

you look at anyone who’s really gone right

through a really stressful experience

and you look at a picture before and after that period,

you’re gonna see like the face does,

the skin does change, the body does look different.

And then when someone’s energy is better

and they’ve shifted, it does look like they became,

you know, it changes, it’s crazy.

And no Botox or anything else included.

ALICIA: Yeah, and it’s so interesting that well-known,

we can go on, we can,

we can say why we’re not being taught about our energy

and about, you know, really aligning with our true self,

our core self, healing the body, healing the shocker systems, getting out that density

so that more of your light body and your true energy and essence can come in, because that’s

the real fountain of youth.

We have these programs in our DNA that know how to heal ourselves, that know how to age

well.

Of course, we’re being infiltrated by propaganda and media to take these things and do this

stuff to change ourselves, to change our bodies.

And it’s sad to me because I feel we’re suffering as the

feminine collective with what we’re being infiltrated with.

JANNINE: I would agree.

I would agree.

I mean, before we hit record, I had mentioned that I was part

owner in a spa for some time and we were getting inundated with

folks, you know, being like, do Botox, you know, carry this

product, carry that product.

And while I was looking into him,

kind of thinking in my head,

well, this would be really good for people

that want these kind of services.

But at the same time, I was like,

I don’t feel right about doing these.

I don’t feel right.

There’s just something inherently in me going,

I don’t know.

And I’m not judging anyone, of course,

that’s done Botox or tried any of these things.

It’s not about that.

It’s more just me being like,

am I offering the best option?

for aging here, because I don’t believe we can necessarily reverse the aging.

I feel like we can slow things down, but I don’t, I mean, I think we’re going to be

aging no matter what.

ALICIA: Absolutely.

I know.

And I think it’s the food that we eat and the chemicals that we’re using and all of that

that can certainly speed up that process.

But to your point, when you put something into your body that is foreign, that’s going to

you look a certain way, you have to really become very clear and understand that when

you make that choice, again, no judgment for people that do, I have friends that do, and

that’s fine. But for me personally, I don’t ever want to have myself look a certain way

and then be unhappy with my real true self when that’s not in my body anymore. And that’s

the dynamic that it creates. It creates this comparison, you know, before and after, you

know, here and now, verse then, and you’re never actually really happy and fulfilled

and full of joy with your authentic appearance. And I think there’s so much, there’s shame

in that. Like, I feel, I feel sad that that’s the way that we have been conditioned to be

because we haven’t been taught that there’s a process with aging.

And when you go into like the crone in the sage,

there’s natural beauty in that embodiment, right?

When a woman knows herself and she loves herself

and she accepts herself, she exudes this energy and aura

that people want to be around and they think is magnetic, right?

Even if she has wrinkles on her face

and she has weight on her body.

There’s an energy about her

that we’re not teaching people how to achieve.

JANNINE: This is, I mean, huge, huge.

And I think you’re right on in terms of the energy

and how to harness that as we get older.

So it seems like from what you’re saying,

and of course I also am gonna be a little biased on it

because I believe this, but I just wanna make sure

that we’re clear for the audience,

getting your energy right before you decide

to make any decisions with beauty changes.

Let’s put it that way, is better.

And let’s not use better.

I don’t wanna use a comparison term,

but more like a solid way to go about things.

And maybe you won’t even need to,

or feel the need to do it after you work on that.

ALICIA: Yeah, and when we say your energy,

I wanna be more clear or just decisive about what that means

is we have to understand that there is a darker side

of ourselves or a darker side of our thoughts

that every single person on the planet has.

We can call that our ego, we can call that the dark forces,

we can call that the devil, whatever term you wanna use,

it doesn’t matter.

But the way that it comes in is through our mind.

And it automatically makes us judge ourselves.

And when you’re in judgment,

you’re essentially in fear, lack, scarcity.

And we have to be very clear

about what that inner voice is saying

and then make a different choice.

No, I choose to believe that I’m in love

with my healthy body.

I choose to believe that I can change my body

in whatever way I want to change that.

So you align with a different energy

that’s more expansive

and loving and kind and compassionate

and gives yourself grace over fear.

Right?

So it’s always this ping pong match in the brain

of what am I choosing to think right now and buy into?

And is that coming from a place of truth, love and wisdom?

Or from the societal fear that’s been programmed into me

since the day that I’ve been born as a woman?

JANNINE: Let’s talk about the societal fears a little bit,

because those are big, right?

They’re big.

I’m human, right?

I have some too.

Everyone kind of has those thoughts.

And I always joke with people that,

well, I didn’t want to age like my mother,

which my mother unfortunately passed at 62 of breast cancer.

I don’t want to go out like that.

And so of course, that’s why a lot of what I do is,

because I don’t want to go out like that.

But at the same time, I also did watch,

Because of the cancer, she was having a harder time.

She was more tired.

She couldn’t exercise, couldn’t keep up on things.

And so part of it for me was like,

okay, how do I prevent all of this?

But at the same time, I think a lot of people

will be thinking about their parents,

maybe that are still alive,

maybe they’re in their 80s, maybe they’re 90s,

maybe they passed early because of unhealthy behaviors.

A lot of people look at that and go,

well, wait, isn’t that just genetics?

isn’t that just gonna happen?

Do I have any, do I have any?

I feel like there’s a lot of hopelessness too,

wrapped up in this.

ALICIA: Yeah.

– Yeah, and I think it’s the nature versus nurture.

Sure, we have the DNA and we may have the gene,

but as you know, as a holistic practitioner,

there’s things that we can do to optimize our health

and to reach our full potential by not smoking

the way that our ancestors did

like putting alcohol into our body and our system all the time, cleaning up our gut.

The products that we use on our face and on our skin actually can create more aging because

look at the list that’s on it. Like if you don’t know what’s on that list and you can’t see that

in nature, then it’s man-made and it’s a chemical and it’s not what your skin is asking you to put

into it or what your body is asking it to consume, right? It’s not alive. It’s not living. And

And it’s meant for, again, it’s a sales tool.

So I think that when we look at our ancestors,

we don’t look at them with fear.

We look at them because they didn’t have the tools

and the technology and the information available to them

the way that we do now as a culture.

They didn’t have those same,

there’s so much out there now.

it’s like at our fingertips where they didn’t understand, right? I mean, think of the way that

they grew up. Like my mom used to be able to smoke in the car with me. Like, like, you know, we

didn’t have to wear seat belts. You’re like, so, so they just didn’t have these things. And we know

so much more now, and it’s a choice to not pay attention to that or not make the changes that

that you need to make in order to not let your family line be your destiny.

Right.

We have the tools are available to optimize your health and optimize your aging movement,

right?

Like the way we move our body, the way we tune into our body, what we put into our body,

is what we consume consumes us, like the chemicals we use,

like all of that we know, but some people choose not

to take that seriously or choose to believe

that this is their fate.

JANNINE: Right, right, right.

And then I think, you know, we do hear programming on that.

You know, sometimes from relatives,

my dad used to always be like,

you want to know what a woman’s gonna look like,

look at her mother, you know?

And it’s just like, oh, dad.

ALICIA: You know, and we, it’s so shaming.

As you say that I’m thinking, I was like,

oh my gosh, right?

So then when we look at ourselves in the mirror

and we see our mother, what does that do?

Shame, shame, shame.

Right?

Shame is toxic for the soul.

Toxic, we always have to make a different choice.

What do we have control over?

JANNINE: Yeah.

I think it’s hard for some people

to kind of look at that shame and be like, okay, Alicia,

how do I get out of this cycle?

Where do I even begin when I’m trying to move

out of the shame cycle, when I’m trying to move out

of this, like comparing myself to everyone kind of,

or anyone, like anyone in everyone celebrities included,

you know, what do we do?

How do we begin this process?

ALICIA: Yeah, I think there comes a point in every woman’s life,

usually after their 40s where they start to get in touch with their authenticity and who they are.

And you start to question who you are and how you want to live and what’s important to you.

And you look back on the journey and eventually you get to the place where it’s I am who I am,

who I am, and all of my experiences made me who I am. And this is how I get to walk in the world

now. I don’t have to change anything about myself to fit in. I don’t have to change anything about

myself to be loved or to be accepted. I get to enjoy the journey. I get to be in joy now. I get

to be in love with my life now. And we’re not taught that because we’ve gotten away from

like the wise woman and the grandmother that we used to go

and we used to sit with and hear all her stories.

And we’ve been separated.

You know, we’ve been, we don’t turn to our elders anymore.

And so of course there’s gonna be fear of dying

and fear of aging when it looks so horrible now.

JANNINE: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I mean, it does, it does.

You look at what’s out on, you know, let’s put it this way.

Go to the grocery store.

Go out, you know, go to, you know, the best one actually, which

can which invokes a lot of it didn’t book a lot of fear.

And he’s going with a friend to bingo.

ALICIA: Mm.

JANNINE: and to some of the casinos that will be a very big eye opener.

And you go, Oh my gosh, I don’t want to end up like this.

Like, how do I not end up here?

You know, what, what do I do?

Um, in this case and, and is this all that I have, right?

Is this all that aging is?

And I know I’ve kind of diverted off a beauty and went to the casino department

here, but it is one of the things where we think about like, what am I going to

be doing?

And it goes to life purpose, right?

ALICIA: Well you have to really get clear on what lie you’re being sold.

Right.

You know, generations ago were told, you know, you don’t get to enjoy your life

until after retirement.

Right? Like once you’re retired, your life is essentially over and then you can go enjoy things.

So if you want to believe that lie and you want to say that you need to stop working or stop using your brain,

you’re going to decompensate, right? You’re going to not age well. You’re going to settle for status quo and you’re going to think that that’s your fate

because that’s what you’ve been told.

And we have the right to challenge that.

You know, the more we use our brain and the more we feel like we have a purpose, the more we don’t.

Well, I’m not judging anybody that goes to bingo night because they obviously like that.

But but I feel that when we’re connected with each other, because you think about bingo brings connection.

It makes you feel like you’re a part of something.

JANNINE: Right.

ALICIA: So does your purpose and what you want to do in the world and who you want to spend your time with and the quality of your relationships that uplift you.

where you don’t need to look forward to that one thing.

So I think there is just a new way of doing it

and to decide when you’re younger or our age

that I don’t want to stop living

and having experiences just because I’m getting older.

How do I wanna spend the second half of my life?

what is going to fill me up?

What brings me the most amount of joy?

JANNINE: I think that’s important.

I think that’s important.

And I think it ties into back into the beauty part

because I think for some people perhaps trying to maintain

the beauty seeking out the fountain of youth

helps us feel like we still belong

to the younger population

or we’re still part of the crew.

ALICIA: And what if that was never supposed to be the way?

Because if there’s a sense of belonging to ourselves and to our what we want to create

and cultivate on this planet and what we came for as unique individual souls, the young

start to gravitate to us.

JANNINE: I’m a big fan of, I guess you could probably say being the sage older woman, right?

I want to be the like, I don’t know of kids, so I can’t say necessarily the grandma.

But the older woman that you know is whipping up different types of herbal cocktails, you

know, and doing those kind of things, be like, “Here, honey, try this.

This will help you out.”

You know, I always envisioned that kind of thing.

know, in my future and never really thought about how my appearance looked actually.

Like, I don’t know if it really, I don’t know if I’m just that much of a tomboy if it didn’t

matter.

Of course, I’ve always wanted my skin to be healthy looking, but I wasn’t necessarily

like that.

So I always think about that for my thought of things.

And I guess what I’m getting at while I’m bringing up my story is more because I want

this podcast to be thought-provocative, right?

For women to be like, “Really?

What’s all the Botox plastic surgery faceless?

Who is it really for?

Why?”

I guess is the question.

Why?

ALICIA: Yeah, I was faced with this question pretty recently, actually, and it was tied to my

worth.

And what was revealed to me in one of my Akashic record readings was that there were

lifetimes after lifetimes where women and me included, where we were sold into marriage.

We had to be bought, and based on whoever was the highest bidder, based on our appearance,

decided the life we get to have.

And so when I think about how that used to be part of our Earth energy and the planet

and how women were always worried about how they looked and who was going to choose them,

Not only did it make them judge themselves and overly focus on their appearance to make

their family happy, to earn their family money, to be taken care of, it also put us in competition

with each other.

And that is still very much in our cellular memory.

And so when we come with the mindset that we have to do these things to our bodies and

change our appearance and change the way we look in order to get chosen or order to be loved and

accepted and to be better than the younger woman that my husband’s gonna leave me for.

Right? Like that’s where all of that stems from. And it’s it’s cellular memory in us

that I really feel we are being called to transition out of.

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JANNINE: Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Makes sense. Makes sense. I mean, I definitely when you go towards the

aspect of, I don’t want my husband to leave me for a younger woman, that kind of stuff now,

I also will think about, okay, if we think that way, now we’re putting that energy out there.

in the first place.

So there’s that aspect of things too.

Do you kind of feel that like,

if our energy and when I’m speaking of energy guys,

I’m speaking about being able to love yourself.

When you’re comfortable with who you are,

I feel like that is more beautiful

than someone who is not searching.

Or, you know, who’s not comfortable

to who they are searching for, the fountain of youth,

and that energy reflects on your relationship.

What do you think?

ALICIA: Well, absolutely, because there’s so much more that goes into someone leaving for a younger

version, right?

Like, you know, we as women have been trained to believe that if we’re pretty enough, if

we’re smart enough, if we’re great in bed, if we look great, then our man won’t leave

us.

We know better than that now.

like we somehow took all the responsibility and put it on us

to be the ones that hold all the weight in a relationship

to keep it together.

I know that from the work that I’ve been doing with people

and in my work, we’re evolving out of that,

but that is still very, very resonant.

And it has more to do with the quality

and the depth of the connection in the relationship

than it does with your appearance.

JANNINE: Yeah. 

ALICIA: When you’re in a sacred union with someone and you’re doing the work together and you’re

growing together and you’re making commitments to each other over the stages of time as you age,

right? Then there is no fear in that because you feel connected to your partner because you’re

connected to yourself and your soul. 

JANNINE: Yeah. Yeah. I was hoping you would say

something like that. So folks could hear that because it’s it is something that you know,

I hear that I’ve heard that throughout the years too with different family members mentioning that

you better not gain too much weight, you know, listen that. And then there’s also the the aspect of

of looking at what we do choose to do. And and what we do like in terms of enhancements

And and coming from a place of still loving yourself, but having these enhancements, but them back, you know, I’m kind of bringing the conversation back to why we choose to dye your hair, for example.

I love my hair dye.

Right now I haven’t done it for a long time because I live in a house that we haven’t gotten our water softener correct.

And my person who does my hair told me that my hair would be banana yellow.

If I try.

And so, you know, it’s a battle, right?

And so I like to share my battles a little bit

on the podcast, so they think it can help folks too,

because, you know, I like my hair that way, right?

Now I have like white on the side and some street gay

and people are always like,

“Your hair’s so cool this one.”

I’m like, “I like my cool streaks in my hair too.”

But I did really like the persona that came out.

And so this is where I’m getting to.

As the persona that came out with the platinum blonde short hair

that I had.

What’s the psyche behind that?

When you’re okay with yourself,

but there’s little tweaks that bring out the pizzazz

or bring out the persona in you.

And right now I’m kind of like feeling

I’ve lost a little of my pizzazz

because I can’t tie my hair.

ALICIA: I love this.

And I think with anything, there’s always the balance.

JANNINE: Right.

ALICIA: The way that I encourage people

to make that choice or make that decision

Or are you doing it because you love it and it lights you up and you feel great about it?

Or are you doing it because you’re afraid?

Or you’re worried about what people will think of you if you don’t look a certain way.

Right.

So if it’s coming from a place of fear and judgment, then it’s not coming from a place of love.

You know, I have people who will say, oh, my gosh, I’m not going into the grocery store.

I don’t have my hair and makeup done.

And I’m like, okay, that’s a choice.

But what does that really say about how you feel

about your organic authentic appearance?

And I had to do a lot of work around this.

Like I used to be the girl that, you know,

if I had a boyfriend, I would go to bed, put mascara on.

And as soon as I woke up in the morning,

I would run to the bathroom, use mouthwash,

and put mascara on because I didn’t want him

to see me without makeup.

And there became this like game that I was playing

with myself, like, what is it about my natural appearance?

When I look at myself in the mirror, what do I see?

I used to not feel very beautiful.

I used to feel very worthless,

and I didn’t like myself very much,

and I used to feel very broken.

So I thought that I could change or control

the way someone thought about me

by me trying to change and control

the way that I thought about me.

And it took me a really long time to be able to look at myself in the mirror

and say the things to myself, like the jopano, pano prayer, like,

Alicia, I love you. I’m sorry for, I’m grateful for, thank you for,

like I’m proud of you for,

and really getting in touch with who I was with all of this stripped away.

And there was a period where I had to start questioning,

am I doing my hair this way?

Am I putting on my makeup because I care about what people think of me?

Or because this is just me and I really like who I am.

I think that’s a valid, you know, debate in the head, right?

And really getting to the bottom of it and really getting to it because, you know,

for me, I like the hair, but like I’m not into makeup.

Like I just, I joke that I don’t know what I’m doing, which is kind of true.

Sort of, I mean, I have friends that have taught me.

So it’s like, I know what I’m doing, but like, I kind of like just having the little

tint on the eyebrows sometimes and the eyelashes sometimes and forget it.

It’s just not my jam.

ALICIA: Yeah.

But that’s who you are.

JANNINE: Right.

It’s like, that’s who you are.

And that’s what we’re, that’s what we’re ultimately longing for, searching for.

Being comfortable with who you are.

JANNINE: Right.

ALICIA: And not all ages over all stages.

of your development as a woman who’s going to age.

That’s what we came here for.

JANNINE: Right.

We are going to get older.

We are.

And as much as there are different techniques and things

out there to help us with this, one of the things

you mentioned was looking in the mirror.

Do you have your clients do the look in the mirror

and do the hobo no or whatever exercise it may be

to to baby step into being comfortable, looking at yourself without makeup or looking at yourself.

However, it may be, I would love to hear what you’re having folks do.

ALICIA: Yes, because that which you judge about yourself, you will project onto another.

And meaning, if you think that you look ugly, you’re automatically going to think that that

person is sitting across from you thinks you look ugly.

It just comes out, right?

Because the soul doesn’t want you to think negatively about yourself.

So it will project out until you’re willing to address that.

And I always say and preach the most important relationship you have in this

lifetime is the one you have with yourself.

And if you are unable to look at yourself in the mirror, then I would start with

your journal, you know, it’s addressing the negative things.

and being honest about those.

But because the equal and opposite is always true in nature,

there’s always the opposite, right?

Okay, so if I ugly, we’ll just use that.

A lot of women say, I’m overweight, I’m fat.

I’m like, that needs to be extinguished

from your vocabulary because words are very, very creative

and you’re actually attracting that more to yourself

of what you don’t want.

But let’s look at the other side.

Let’s look at the other truth.

And let’s start to re-identify and reprogram the brain

with what is actually true.

And then eventually be able to go and look in the mirror

and say, look in your own eyes.

And even if it’s, I have so much compassion

for what you’ve been through.

I know that my soul created this body

and created this avatar and this human vessel

for me to experience this life in.

And even though I don’t feel like it’s perfect right now,

I know that it’s meant for me.

Whatever you can muster up is what you say,

and you have to redevelop that connection with yourself.

Because that’s where the aura and the energy starts to change

because the negativity can no longer take root.

JANNINE: Right, right.

Not giving it a place, not giving it words.

ALICIA: When the light of your higher self starts to come in,

the darkness cannot stay.

It just, it’s, it won’t.

It can’t.

JANNINE: That’s definitely something that takes time, right?

And I’m guessing I’m like looking and going, hmm.

ALICIA: So much, right.

But Rome wasn’t built in a day.

And you know, and you can’t climb out ever as without taking the first step.

JANNINE: Right.

ALICIA: So it’s just making the commitment.

And, um, you know, because we don’t.

We don’t want to feel crappy about ourselves.

We know that doesn’t feel right.

We know it doesn’t feel good.

JANNINE: Right.

ALICIA: But we’ve been conditioned to believe that that’s just the way it is.

What if it’s not?

JANNINE: See, that’s the thing, like all these lies, like all these lies, everything that I

thought was life was not.

It’s so it’s so wild, right?

Like in in your podcast, alive and we just makes like it is such a perfect title

Because in my head, it’s just like everything.

All right, I’ll be honest, since COVID, I’ve basically been like everything I’ve

ever known was a lie.

Everything.

ALICIA: I know 

JANNINE: Everything.

Everything.

And and so now it’s like coming to terms with it, right?

And coming to terms with like all of these things.

Like I think a lot of people might actually be in this boat too.

You know, having starting to see the smoke in the mirrors.

ALICIA: And I think that this was a time if you look at history and, you know, ascended masters and you

you know, you go the spiritual route. This was a time that was prophesied in history that we’re

living in right now for us to start to wake up to the truth of what’s really been going on here.

JANNINE: Yeah. 

ALICIA: It starts with the feminine because we’re intuitive and we are very, we can see things,

we can sense things, we know it.

JANNINE: And the sensitivity that we’ve been kind of programmed in a lot of ways to simmer down,

you know, don’t be so sensitive.

It, you know, I keep thinking about all of it and I’m going, we’ve as women have been

kept down quite a bit.

And I think the scale was the first invention to, this is my joke, but to keep women busy,

to keep women busy so they didn’t come up

with really amazing ideas and take over the world.

But yes, that’s my feminism coming out,

but I mean, the more I look at these things, I’m going,

all right, scale number one keeps us busy,

number two, the aging thing.

ALICIA: Yeah.

JANNINE: I mean, two things.

ALICIA: Well, not feeling thing, right?

To deny our true authentic feelings, here, take this pill,

take this thing, do that, you know, like, don’t feel,

don’t express, you’re crazy.

You know, all the things and it took us out of balance, right?

Masculine feminine energy is supposed to be very, very balanced.

We have very specific roles in what we do and how we are on Earth.

And yeah, if you can take the feminine off of her power

and you can make her turn on herself, what a beautiful game.

JANNINE: And then ultimately this is probably some of my

it’s for the podcast is really getting women to realize that it’s not worth it for us to judge

ourselves and judge others. And we can be a lot more powerful to make change when we band together.

You had mentioned, you know, stopping the comparison game and moving into our beauty and

benevolence and how we can benefit each other. 

ALICIA: Yeah, you know, the more I’ve done my own work,

The more I start to feel really safe around other women who are in their heart center,

who are about sisterhood and building each other up and you know, just really being there.

And I think we’re being called back to that. We’re being called for connection and less competition.

JANNINE: Yeah, the collective. I mean, I look at my favorite show, the 80s, was Golden Girls.

And whether someone identifies with one person or the other, whoever, it’s fine. You do you.

I think the biggest thing for me is more looking at the women working together. Yes, did they fight?

Yes, did they? It was all funny in the end. But at the same time, yes, it’s mainstream media.

There was probably some programming in there too, but at the same time, it’s looking at how can we

band together? Maybe even if we look at the blue zones, the women living together in a home

together after husbands pass or partners pass and thinking of even that as my

future thought process because I’m thinking to myself, okay, I don’t have kids. I have a small

family, you know, what’s what’s next for me when I get into my 80s, 90s and beyond.

Sure.

And, and so thinking about this, you know, teaming together thing, helping women who are

single to just or helping women who do not have kids to think about like these kind of

things too.

ALICIA: I love that, you know, and as you were talking, I’m like, of course the golden girls, like

it’s amazing.

But also the other side that we’re being infiltrated with as a culture is like the real housewives

and like these caddy and this like what women are doing to each other behind each other’s

backs and what they find valuable and how they’re doing all these things to their body is like

what our children and our younger generations are being infiltrated by. And that is a scary thing

because it could easily lead in the other direction because it’s certainly not breeding the stuff

that we’re talking about. 

JANNINE: No. 

ALICIA: Right? Like we live in a society where mental health is on the rise

suicide is on the rise, eating disorders are on the rise, like all of it.

The younger generation are getting plastic surgery, gender change,

all the things that are happening because that energy that we’ve been conditioned by,

it starts early. It grabs hold of you so early and then we think that that’s the way

to be successful or to be beautiful or to be pretty with all these, you know, again, nothing against like name brands, but like comparing yourself and like the things that you’re buying and purchasing, you know, for, for temporary fulfillment and artificial glamour.

JANNINE: Mm hmm. Mm hmm. Yeah.

ALICIA: And it’s, I think it does take conversations like these to really imprint another way, right?

The authentic way, the loving way, the coming together way.

Because that’s really, it keeps us so separate from each other when we buy into all of that.

JANNINE: So that’s what, you know, just killer televisions.

Um. 

ALICIA: I know.

JANNINE: Throw out our phones.

ALICIA: I know.

JANNINE: But of course I don’t want you to completely

throw out your phone because you might not be able

to listen to my podcast or a Alicia’s podcast.

So we, you know, it’s being choosy, right?

But it’s also on the same lines.

And this is something I love to talk about

because it all is another thing

is like the younger generation.

Even though I don’t know of kids,

I’m highly invested in how do we get to the younger generation?

I, my thought is through our generation to really help us women lift ourselves up, band

together, so that we can teach our children to rise up and just put the fingers in the

hand to the no.

We can use a little bit of the modern stuff and say, “Hey, no, I’m not putting up with

this crazyness.”

ALICIA: Yeah, I think that that’s where we’re heading.

I think this was the first year.

know, the earth is under a new energy right now. We’re really being called to rise into

our truth, into our power, into our authentic selves, and really reclaim our sovereignty.

And as we do that, I do feel that the collective will automatically start to shift because

as we keep having these conversations and we keep talking to our youth and we have more

more and more parents that are waking up and talking to their children. Like my child,

he came in already very aware. Like the generations of children that are coming in now onto our

earth plane, they’re here to disrupt the norm. And eventually it won’t be able to take root

anymore. But it does take more and more women saying no. And working through their own

fear and making the different choices that we were talking about today so that they don’t

pass it on to their children, right? The more fear we have in us, like I work with a lot of women

who were weight-shamed by their mothers or, you know, their appearance was so important to their

mothers and so they have a part of them that’s like a perfectionist that constantly is judging

themselves for the way they look, which came from their biological mom, which we know like, you know,

from generation to generations where that comes from.

But as we keep working with women to heal that,

then it will trickle down more and more

generation to generation.

So that just can’t take root anymore.

That’s my ultimate hope.

JANNINE: I have a lot of hope for that.

I have a lot of hope for that.

And then definitely, I’m hoping that folks who are listening

to podcasts like ours are really taking it to heart

that we’ve been duped.

on so many levels, so many levels.

In particular, I come from a background,

like I said, of owning a spa,

where literally we know we make money

on skincare procedures and skincare,

high-end aesthetics.

It’s a huge industry.

And a lot of different medical doctors are jumping into it

’cause yeah, it’s good money.

And the same thing goes with the hormones.

And I’m in that world.

I do prescribe hormones, but I come at it

at a different aspect, something like,

how can the hormone help you to live better longer, right?

And ultimately that’s what we’re talking about here.

How can we– 

ALICIA: The body doesn’t lie, right?

It keeps the score.

You know, I have three friends who now are having ex-plants

and they’re getting their implants removed

because their body’s rejecting it.

and it can’t be sustained in the body any longer.

And that will happen, right?

Because we can’t put toxins in and expect a good outcome.

And the more and more we keep waking up to this,

like intuitive living and embodied living

and like really tuning in to our feelings

and what’s happening inside of us,

the more and more we get to rise out of that, right?

your body will tell you what it wants

and what it doesn’t want.

Down to the products you use,

down to the things you’re putting into it,

and it will have a reaction.

If it rejects the artificial things

that you’re choosing to do,

and again, everyone has their own journey about that.

Like it’s a very personal choice and decision,

but it will come to that point

where eventually it’s just not sustainable, it’s toxic.

JANNINE: Mm hmm. Mm hmm. Yeah, it absolutely, absolutely. It’s gonna get to some point where, you know,

there’s chronic fatigue, there’s chronic pain, there’s, you know, we’re looking at all of the

chronic illnesses that show up and we have to think about it. And yeah, Xplants are, I mean,

on the rise, the the breast implant illness is is such a thing. And I don’t know how we haven’t

gotten into anything with the Botox. I know that like for chronic pain and helping to

relieve that and folks, I know it can be incredibly beneficial, but at the same time,

yeah, it’s a toxin. How could it, how could it not create some energetic change?

ALICIA: Well, and, and I think we can also make energetic change by what we choose to change within ourselves.

you know, clearing out our emotions and our trauma and, you know, not carrying all that

fear in our body makes a significant change energetically within.

JANNINE: And the same places that, you know, we are looking at like, so for example, the lines

that we have here, here, you know, down to the nose lines violence, I’ve seen those change

on people when they free themselves from anger, fear, frustration.

I mean, we can, we can face, read people, right?

And you can see, and like I, this one here is to be a lot deeper.

And yes, I’ve used moisturizer that I think helps, you know, but I don’t, I don’t

think it’s all that I don’t think it’s all that.

ALICIA: Yeah, you know, we’ve been conditioned to not let ourselves feel and express

right, which also creates dis-ease in the body and disorder of the mind. And it is, you know,

aging is going to happen and we can we can do better as a culture, we can do better as a

society, we can do better supporting our sisters as they age and as they grow. And there’s not

much that we can necessarily do to change the way that somebody feels about themselves,

but there’s something that we can do with the energy that we’re bringing into any relationship.

Right? Like, that’s what we have control over is how do people feel when they’re around us?

Can they be themselves? You know, are we always talking about the next fat or like,

what are we, what are our conversations about? Are they on that level? Right? Because then that

just breeds more of energy into that level. We’ll never rise above it if we keep talking

about it and shaming it and judging it. And, and I think it’s just a lower level type

of conversation that I personally don’t want. I don’t like to be involved in anymore because

it brings me down. It’s like, no, no, no, no, like that’s not what I’m right. You’re

feeding it, right? If there’s like a meba out there, like you’re literally like giving

it energy to grow and to keep to keep being able to be sustained. But it’s like, let’s

talk about actually stuff that fills us up.

JANNINE: So huge. 

ALICIA: What are you creating? What do you love doing? Right? Like, like, there’s,

what comes out of our mouths is so powerful.

JANNINE: Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. Such a good point for folks to really think about what comes out of your mouth.

It’s tough. I’m not perfect. None of us are, right? But like, I still catch myself saying some wacky stuff to myself, just out loud about me, you know.

know. And this too, I think has a huge impact on how we age, but also right, our conversations

who we surround ourselves by with and by, you know, hmm. So many thoughts.

ALICIA: Yeah, I mean, the energy will always be there. It’s part of our earth plane, but we can always

choose to take the higher route.

JANNINE: And seek out people. I think this is this is what’s been fun for me with the podcast is

as seek out people that are on the same wavelength, I can talk, wavelength.

Speaking of words, it’s a commodity mouth, on the same wavelength, but also

working, finding folks that, yes, you can have more meaningful conversations with and

switch how you talk, switch how you, I encourage people to play with it. Maybe that’s our action

step from this podcast. I don’t know. What do you call the tell folks about for their action step?

They’ve heard us talking all about all of this. 

ALICIA: Yeah, I think it is. Watch your words because they

are very creative. Right. People think that words are descriptive and that we’re describing things,

but we’re actually creating things. Words are ones. You know, what wand and what magic are you

creating with the words that are coming out of your mouth.

JANNINE: I like that.

I like that a lot.

I like that a lot.

All right, guys, you have your magic wand.

We all do.

We’ve been born with them.

Now it’s time to think about how you’re going to use them for good.

So, at least I think that’s like a mic drop on that one.

I can’t even like there’s nothing.

We there’s nothing we could do beyond that words, magical words right there.

That that is it.

So let’s have folks learn more about where they can go and find you and go to your podcast

Live and Awake with Alicia and aliciakaycoaching.com.

All of that tell folks what’s going down and how they can work with you and find you.

ALICIA: I love that.

Thank you.

Yes, obviously the podcast is such a great, great place for me to share more of my own

magic with my words.

You can subscribe to my newsletter if you want to hear about what’s going on in my coaching

business. There’s a free opt-in, how to dismantle the three most common unhealthy beliefs you have

about yourself, which is full of information and some tools there. And watch out for my online

program coming in the next, I would say probably three months, you know, wake up to your worth

and end the war within. It’ll be an online course to really help you dive into where these beliefs

came from and really how to do the work to overcome your negative inner self-talk.

JANNINE: So huge, so huge guys. We need to band together ladies. If you haven’t cut that from this podcast,

this is your message. Gosh, Alicia, thanks again for coming on. I look forward to more

fabulous conversations with you. 

ALICIA: Yes, me too. Thanks for having me.

[Outro] Hey fellow health junkie, thanks for listening to the HealthFix podcast. If you enjoyed tuning in,

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