Ep 411: How to Break up With Your Old Self and Become More You – With Theresa Lear Levine

Arrived at a point in life where you know something has to change?  Finding lack of concentration and focus are getting in the way of you moving forward ?  Know there’s more out there for you and what’s happening now isn’t what you want? Theresa Lear Levine is a Mom, author and entrepreneur with ADHD who specializes in empowering professional women to cultivate calm, clarity and confidence.  In this episode of The Health Fix Podcast, Dr. Jannine Krause interviews Theresa Lear Levine on what it takes to become more you and she shares tips from her new book, “BECOMING MORE ME: Tapping into Success– Subconscious Secrets of an ADHD Entrepreneurial Mom”.

Resources From The Show:

You can check out Theresa’s Book, BECOMING MORE ME- Tapping Into Success: Subconscious Secrets of an ADHD Entrepreneurial Mom, available on Amazon, and also get Access to her Amazing Library of Private Tapping Sessions, including the one she did with me after the show (for FREE!) by visiting theresalearlevine.org

More ways to connect with Theresa Lear Levine:

Website theresalearlevine.com 

The Becoming More Me Podcast Becomingmoreme.com 

Instagram @theresalearlevine 
If you are interested in checking out Theresa’s Becoming More Me Signature Program offerings, Book a call with her by visiting http://gamechangingconversation.com and tell her I sent you- she’ll hook you up with an extra month of free coaching calls and 1:1 support, valued at over $1k, just for mentioning my name! 

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Podcast Transcript

JANNINE: Welcome to the Health Fix Podcast where health junkies get their weekly fix of tips, tools and techniques to have limitless energy, sharp minds and fit physics or life. Hey health junkies, on this episode of the Health Fix Podcast, I’ve brought back Theresa Lear Levine and we’re going to be talking about tapping. We’re going to be talking about hypnosis and we’re also going to be talking about the subconscious secrets of an ADHD entrepreneurial mom, otherwise known as Theresa. And we are going to talk all about her past traumas, high functioning anxiety, ADHD and how it’s played a role in her life but also how she’s overcoming all of this to become more of herself. And so, Theresa is a gal who I’ve worked with and done some work with hypnosis, done some work with tapping and she’s coached me through some big stuff in my life and so I really wanted to bring her back on of course to help her promote her book but also to really just share with folks how much that can be opened up for you when you become more yourself, when you feel free to be you and how you can access every bit of that to move forward in what you want in life. Let’s reintroduce you to Theresa Lear Levine.

Hey Health junkies, I have Theresa Lear Levine on again today and we are going to be talking about her new book which is super exciting. We’re going to be talking all about really what it means to become more me. Sounds like an interesting phrase that of course is the topic of her book, also her programs things of that nature and of course her book is called “Becoming More Me, Tapping Into Success, Subconscious Secrets of an ADHD Entrepreneurial Mom.” And of course we’re going to talk about ADHD a little bit because probably Theresa’s notice as much as me is that a lot of people throw that word around and it’s important to kind of categorize like what that means, how it impacts your health but also how you become more you with that in the background. But first, Theresa, welcome to the Health Fix podcast. 

THERESA: Hey, Jannine, thank you so much for having me back again. 

JANNINE: So much fun, my goodness. I think we could talk for hours and ya know—

THERESA: We have talked for hours. We have. 

JANNINE: It’s true. And now we finally hit record after we are chatting. We probably should have been recording too. 

THERESA: I didn’t mean today But over the course of time we have talked for hours. 

JANNINE: True. True, true, true. We have. We have. It’s true, and there are so many things to talk about of course because you wrote a book, we have to talk about that because I think for not only the impact you’ve had in my life, other folks’ lives, I think it’s important for folks to really understand this concept of coming home, becoming more me, becoming more yourself. What does this movement mean to you? Let’s start with that. What does it mean to you? 

THERESA: Yeah. For me, it’s about everything I’ve gone through that’s kind of brought me to this place and also being able to empower other professional women, other entrepreneurial moms to step into the fullness of their power, to really harness it and bring it back into the present moment, the only place we can do anything with it anyway, and really feel what it’s like to be the you’ist version of you. And I think too many of us cover that up with other things or we’re living lives or beliefs that have been created for us by other people. And as we peel back those layers, we really get to feel into who we are and show up in our life in a whole new way. 

JANNINE: I agree. I agree. I mean, just working with you on the tapping helped me to uncover a lot of different things and helping me to really identify like, oh, I want this, I don’t want that. And also just realize how important it is to have that vibration of who you truly are. And when you don’t, all kinds of weird things come to you that you don’t necessarily want is what I’ve noticed in that. I’m just… Talk about that a little bit. 

THERESA: Well, our own self-realization is like the greatest gift, the greatest service that we can have and provide. And yeah, when we pay attention to that and we kind of allow our seeds of consciousness to grow and sprout and expand, these whole new worlds open up to us. And yeah, sometimes that does involve digging through some stuff in order to allow those sprouts to really blossom and bloom, but it’s not as difficult as people make it out to be. 

JANNINE: So speaking of difficult, you know, one of the big things I think a lot of people start to think about is like, all right, if I find the real me, am I going to like her? Am I going to like him? You know, just, am I going to like that person? What’s going to, what’s going to come of that? And so I think, you know, digging through some of the stuff kind of coming through all of that, what have you found to be kind of the over arching kind of feeling that comes when you start to become more yourself and you start to find yourself? 

THERESA: For me, it felt like going back to being a kid again. And it might not be that way for everyone, not everyone. I had a very wonderful like early childhood. So for me kind of coming back to that where I felt really nurtured and supported and creative, you know, I talk about in my book how it was like a full circle thing for me coming into the realm of hypnotherapy and emotional freedom techniques because as you know, from working with me, like I write all of these things for my clients. I create all of these things that become part of our sessions and become these transformative things that you’re using. And when I was little, I had my own library in my basement where my friends and I would like get together and we would like write these little books, you know, like on like loosely paper, we’d fold them up and staple them or whatever. We’d draw pictures and we’d write them to the point where, you know, my mom eventually like bought us a rubber stamp like they used to stamp on the due day cards in the back of, you know, libraries. We had a card catalog box like it was like a whole thing, but I loved writing. So then that became like writing the book. And then I loved creating. I would write songs when I was a kid and, you know, I didn’t play instruments yet at that time. So I would just, you know, hit record on my tape recorder and I just start singing the tune that was in my head to these lyrics that I had written. And it hit me as I started this business of becoming more me that like I was getting to do all of that over again in a new way as I became an author as I wrote things that helped to transform my clients lives and my own life. It was like this full circle thing that it was like coming back to myself, but on a whole new level. 

JANNINE: Yeah. Oh, I love that. I love that you can tie it back to that because that’s someone how I feel too, you know, like when I was a kid, I would get behind, you know, my, my curtains and, and do my little shows. And so I feel like the podcast is somewhat of a show. Except you guys get the real me versus me pretending I’m like Cinderella or something. 

THERESA: Oh, yeah. I used the same thing. When those big camcorders came out in the 80s, like we got one for the holidays and at first it was like just the parents could use it. And then I think I got annoying enough where I always wanted to be like creating a music video or creating my own talk show or whatever that they were finally like you just go use it Theresa just do it, you know, set it up and go for it. And I would create stuff all the time. But like they say like the things that you loved doing when you were somewhere between like five and fifteen are where you really find like your true passion when you’re an adult and you’re really like if you’re feeling unfulfilled or like you’re not quite on purpose with what you’re doing, go back to what you loved doing then and see what it was and tap back into it. 

JANNINE: Ooh, I like that. I like that. I hope folks are listening right now and going, okay, what did I do when I was between five and fifteen that I really enjoyed? You guys need to pause and write it down. I would highly recommend doing that right now because yes, all that play, all that imagination, all of that stuff before I feel like life kind of, you know—

THERESA: Took over.

JANNINE: Took over, and things got real and serious and things like that. Now, you know, one of the big things a lot of people ask me about is like, you know, and it’s a thing that I can’t answer because I don’t have kids. I have fur babies and you have kiddos. So —

THERESA: And for babies 

JANNINE: And fur— and yeah, that’s right. You just got a new fur baby too. So that’s another big thing. So in the mix of all of the fur babies and kids and things, a lot of people tell me like, I feel like I lost myself and I kind of just immersed myself in my kids’ lives. And now I don’t know the difference between their loves and desires and mine anymore. Have you found that to be true for yourself and a lot of other women have kiddos? 

THERESA: I can see how it can be. And yes, I guess there was a place in my life where that has been true. I was married before my current marriage. My current husband and I have been together will be celebrating 15 years in October. And I know that when in my first marriage, which was never really quite right at all, it was, I mean, we had my oldest son came from that marriage. He did feel like, you know, I kind of lost myself and that my focus was put there. But like the marriage wasn’t like the stronger thing. And I remember, I don’t even remember where I saw it or heard it, but somebody was talking about and getting a lot of criticism for, you know, talking about how they would feel so much more pain if they, you know, lost their spouse than if they lost their child, not that if anyone really wants to have to consider one or the other. And, you know, when I met Jeff, my husband now, like we talked a lot like before we had the kids and I was like, you know, that’s the kind of like life and love I want to have where, you know, obviously I love my kids to the moon and back. But like I want to have that like passionate love, that connected marriage, that feeling that like that we are the reason for all of this, not that like, you know, we’re serving the kids or the kids are like, you know, all that. I want them to see us going on dates. I want them to see, you know, the love that we have and everything else and not have it all be about like how we’re cuddling them all the time. Because I know that that’s the most important thing, you know, coming from a family where, you know, my parents divorced when I was like they separated when I was in the fourth grade. You know, I didn’t see a lot of that, obviously after that time and not a whole lot before. And so I know modeling that is the best way that I can set my kids up to recreate that instead of recreating the dysfunctionality. So yeah, but I mean, it can be hard. I know like when I made my major pivot and started kind of the foundation of what became Becoming More Me, my current business, my youngest son had just been born. He’s almost seven now. And I did feel kind of lost in, but it wasn’t, it was just that there was not enough time to do all the things, you know, four kids who were at that time like 12 and under and just so much to do running my current coaching business from home and trying to keep up with everything. And also not having yet flipped the switch for myself on scarcity and lack mindset and all the things. So it just kind of kept pulling me back into like, oh, things aren’t how there’s supposed to be. I’m never going to make it. Why am I not more successful? This sucks. It’s hard, you know, instead of like realizing that there was a time and place for all of it and that it was safe to slow down. 

JANNINE: Yeah, that’s that’s safe to slowing down with something that, you know, we talked about quite a bit as a whole working with me, but also just I think is really something for a lot of women because I think when we don’t slow down, we lose who we are too. And then we become whatever, whatever we’re trying to chase, I think in a point or but I think we also become just lost in general. We don’t even know who we are. 

THERESA: Yeah. And here’s the thing, like it’s still a very like male dominated world and the way that things get created and put out there. So as women, we’re still trying to plan our days, manage our time, all sorts of things, like with the male 24 hour kind of clock of like their male cycle in a shorter period of time than we do. And yet we have these, you know, 28 to 30 some day cycles that, you know, we need to honor the different parts of and to like allow that to be our fuel, you know, to give ourselves, I mean, we have seasons on top of seasons and cycles on top of cycles, whether we’re talking about like the seasons of the year and how they overlap like our menstrual cycle and all the other things that are happening at the same time. And so often we just want to have these super productive days and always be in go mode, always be in that like eternal spring, you know, that Yang energy and instead we have to like embrace the yin, we have to embrace the wintering, we have to allow that balance to come about because I really feel like you can’t get the traction that you want in your life and you can’t really have the rubber meet the road until you slow down and really allow things to take form. And that was hard as heck for me, like I’m not saying like it’s an easy thing and we can all just like flip the switch like that because it’s, when you’re used to that energy or used to like hustle, strive, do more work harder. This is where your value comes from and you don’t feel worthy when you go slow. There’s some things to sort out in order to be able to switch gears. 

JANNINE: Oh man. No, absolutely, absolutely. You know, one of the things you just mentioned was the, the cycling and that the male, like male energy cycles every 24 hours and guys, this is just the energetics, it is like literally documented stuff and women, of course, we have our 28 plus day cycle depending on your individuality. Let’s talk about that for a minute in terms of how you’ve incorporated that into your own life, but also how you’ve incorporated into helping your finds with their awareness there. Are you having folks cycle tracking? Are you having folks doing anything like the temp drop device that went thing I threw out there for helping? What’s your kind of, what’s your go to on it for? 

THERESA: Yeah, I personally like to do cycle tracking and some of my clients do too. It’s not like a part of my program, but it’s definitely something that I like to see the data from if people want to collect that data and see like what’s happening at different times during their cycle. And you know, for me, it was like, I realized at one point that I had all these goals and all these things I wanted to accomplish and every year at the end of the year, it was like, oh, need another planner. You know, like we out have this like planner, it’s like if I just have the right planner, or the, you know, or the like the right certification, the right thing, like the next little thing that’s outside of myself is going to be what like flips the switch. But the thing is they like even the planners that were made by women for women, most of them have been made by women who have been indoctrinated into the 24 hour cycle of thinking just because it’s been so prominent. So more and more, we’re finding more of these things that have like a better energy to them for women. But I realized I just needed to take more off my plate, you know, I had these overwhelming to do lists and things that I needed to cut back on and to just honor my energy and to realize like this is like part just energy and burnout and this is part like the ADHD brain. But I know like when my focus is not in a place to actually accomplish things that are like listed that I want to get done yet back in the day, I’d still be trying to force myself to do those things and it was very painful. And now it’s like, I know, okay, the energy is not right right now. It’s simply not happening. Like unless it’s a must do today, can’t be done at another time kind of a thing, I just wait for the energy to shift, you know, I’ve taken a lot of time to document how my day feels, you know, and knowing that that can also feel different within my cycle. I know that my most productive best hours to get anything done are before lunch. After lunch time, I like to daydream a little bit more. I love to meditate or, you know, do some yoga nidra gel or my own hypnosis or what have you. I like to get into the groove for my kids coming home and like shifting back into family time, but I can really be amazingly productive like from before the sun comes up until lunch time. So I try not to schedule anything that’s super important that involves focus after that. And I just honor the way my body works instead of trying to force myself into a box of getting things done when it’s not aligned. 

JANNINE: That’s hugely valuable and it’s something that I’ve also found for myself. Like, I’m toast after 2 p.m. Like, yes, I do do patient calls and it was even crazier and this is something, you know, you have to think about it. Like, you have like this nine to five work day, right? And like you end up like a couple hours of your day, you’re squeezing stuff in because you’re stuck on that like, this is how that time frame should be. And I think a lot of women are like, all right, Theresa, I work a nine to five job. 

THERESA: Right. right 

JANNINE: So, how —

THERESA:  I have different flexibility and things that other people might have. But yeah, so what do you think they’re struggling with? 

JANNINE: Yeah, you know, I think I think there’s that, but I think there’s also like even within that I think we can find ways to even structure our day, even if we have an employer and we have things that we can do, you know, for me, what I used to do back in the day and I didn’t even realize that it was happening. But now I now I saw that I was doing it naturally. I would schedule a lot of my acupuncture sessions in the afternoon because I slowed, slowed down. I could get in the groove with people, whereas in the morning, it was like, think, think, you know, an acupuncture is a flow for me. You know, so I think for a lot of people, it’s looking through, looking through your schedule and going like, all right, well, perhaps, you know, I know I’m better in the morning. Maybe I do these kind of things. And then in the afternoon, you know, these are the other things. Because most of us do have some control over our jobs, you know, to an extent and end the other extraneous activities to an extent, of course. 

THERESA: Right. Yeah, give or take. But yeah, no, I think that’s really important. 

JANNINE: Yeah. Yeah. 

THERESA: The energy that you have throughout the day, I mean, for instance, right now, if the afternoon for me, I love doing podcasts and reviews in the afternoon. It’s a nice time to just chat, be creative, have a conversation, that kind of thing. Yeah. 

JANNINE: It’s, it’s eye opening though. It really is eye opening to understand when you’re more, when you’re more productive and when you’re not and just note it, you know, for anyone just listening to this. Now the big thing that I wanted to kind of go into a little bit is because I’ve talked with a lot of different, let’s, let’s go from like psychologists to psychiatrists to, you name it on this podcast, talking about ADHD. And the term is thrown around a lot where folks will be like, oh, have an ADHD moment and it’s like, wait, well, is it though or is it like you have ADHD? And so one of the really big distinctions I always, I want to make for folks is that there are, this is real and it is a real situation. And some of us have it, you know, because of our, we just aren’t planning our days and understanding ourselves and when we can understand ourselves more, we can manage it better. So anyway, I would love for you to really help folks to. To understand with your cycling of that like, luteal phase versus follicular phase. So for talking about first half of the cycle, you know, being follicular phase for folks are listening, second half of the cycle being luteal phase and the 24 hour of a day. What have you found to be the most effective for you and helpful for you with the whole concept of like taking in who you are? What works best? Is that the morning and afternoon kind of thing or are there other little things you can help folks with in terms of tidbits? 

THERESA: Well, I mean, I think throughout cycle two, you’re going to find some days that like the whole day kind of feels like it’s shot, you know, and that you have to honor that too. I used to get so down on myself when I would have these days like, well, I’m not sick. Like why do I not be like doing anything? And it’s like we don’t honor how hard we actually do work or how much we’ve done. You know, I push myself like, I can, I can still predict this because my husband travels a lot for work. And then I’ll get into these projects. I mean, writing this book even at different phases when there were deadlines. I would know that like when I handed in that first draft, I was probably going to be toast for like three days afterwards and just like other than what I need to do, don’t schedule me to do anything crazy. And I, if I husband travels for a long period of time and then I have to hold up, you know, the business, the kids, all the other things that happen, you know, this week like the car I needed to go into the shop and stuff that else came up and I had fraud on my bank accounts. And it was like all these things happen plus he was in my plus all that other stuff. He came home last night and I slept so well. I was just like, I don’t have to like, I don’t have to hold up the weight of the world anymore. And then we just, you know, we need to honor like the different things that are happening and the different times in our cycle. It’s going to be different for everybody. Like I’d love to say there’s like some perfect recipe where it’s the same for everybody. But as, as a woman in my mid 40s in peri-menopause, it’s like I sometimes feel like I’m throwing spaghetti at the wall trying to figure out like what change needs to be made or what adjustment or balancing kind of thing I need to do. And I’m always kind of experimenting with what’s working best for me at any given time. And it keeps changing, right? Because our hormones keep changing and we keep aging. And you know, things just, you know, nothing stays the same. That’s the only constant. So yeah, I wish I had like some cut and dried answer. But you know, with ADHD, the hyperactivity, the impulsiveness, the distraction. That is all stuff that I love using hypnotherapy or emotional freedom techniques to help improve upon the symptoms of. And it’s very effective. And I also think that while, you know, the term gets thrown around and it isn’t actual diagnosis and I am actually diagnosed with it, I spent the first 40 some years of my life not being diagnosed, but I still knew very well that I had it. You know, it was after three out of my four boys had been diagnosed that I was like, maybe mom shouldn’t take a turn and take the test and see what’s going on too because I was pretty sure they didn’t get it from dad. But, you know, and I wanted to know more about myself. But, you know, it’s in this day and age where everything is so busy, you don’t need to have ADHD to be distracted or driven to different behaviors because of all the craziness of our schedules. 

JANNINE: Yeah. No, absolutely, absolutely. What, you know, let’s talk about the tapping and EFT, you know, guys, we’re I’m using it kind of interchangeably emotional freedom technique, EFT tapping. Same, it’s the same thing. Tell us a little bit about how you’ve integrated it in with when you’re feeling it and this is how I get it from patients is I’m feeling ADHD. It’s, you know, like it’s it’s coming on and like you were saying you can, you can see the emotional shifts, you can feel the energy shifts for someone who’s not in tune yet and is getting there wanting to be what are kind of things they can look for. And then how would we put put the tapping in like tell us a little bit about like how you do it, how you advise clients like give us. 

THERESA: Yeah. So for me, and I had you tell this in one of the chapters of my book, my I didn’t know exactly what was going to turn out of this project when I started writing the book. As I began writing it, I realized that sharing about how I wrote it was actually going to be a big part of the process because so many of my own issues and challenges came up through the process. So for instance, the very first day that I was like, I had already done all the kind of pre-work to like outline, like what I knew I needed to include, the points I needed to hit on, all that kind of stuff. I was like, all right, today’s the day. I’m going to start writing and then pretty much everything but that ensued. So

JANNINE: I love that. 

THERESA: Yes, I decided I was going to make my dirty chi late and do the almond milk from the raw nuts. And I was going to instead of doing a short workout, I was going to do a double workout. And Mercury Retrograde was coming. So I was going to order some woo-woo candles off of Amazon to make sure I was covered. And maybe I’ll hang out with my kids and have breakfast with them too. And it was just all of these things that I have to laugh because my husband’s the first person who I let read the book as it was going from draft into getting closer to publishing. And he was like, it’s really interesting to read that because I live with it with you every day. And he’s like, that was like, it was a very honest account of what happened. And, you know, but here’s the thing. At the end of that morning, it was like, I had the morning and then at lunch time, I knew I was going to call it quit stop writing. I didn’t actually start writing. I don’t think until about 11 o’clock and lunch was at 12. I had been up since 430. I had to actually get up pretty early. But I got amazing writing done and I had a really fun, awesome morning doing things that like I wanted to do anyway. And that fulfilled me and light me up and make me happy. So part of it was meeting that with the compassion of like, you know what, you still accomplish what you set out to do. And you got a whole bunch of other stuff done too. It didn’t happen in the order. And maybe you didn’t, you know, write as many and maybe I wrote 2000 words instead of 10,000 words or whatever. But like it was part of that was just me tapping before I, you know, went to lunch after I finished writing and just being like, you know, even though this morning wasn’t what I thought it was going to be, I love accepting forgive myself. And just kind of recapping what happened. And if I was going to try to cut that off at the chase in a different scenario, then I would try to pattern interrupt, you know, there’s many times that I do that where instead of going to make that dirty chi late and, you know, make the almond milk myself and, you know, create the espresso and all the other things. And maybe I would just say, you know what, Teresa, you don’t even need that right now. Like let’s have a ice water and go do the thing. If you still want this later, you can have it. This isn’t, you know, a no to your specialty drink. This is just like maybe later. And then I have to like sit with the way that feels, which it never feels good, right? Because it’s like, we just want to do the thing. And we don’t want to do the other thing, whatever that might be, you know. And I had to greet myself with compassion on the morning that I was starting writing because I was scared. I was like, this is a whole new thing. I’m getting ready to like pour all this like these intimate details of my life, my past, my history, my relationships, you know, all these things out. And is anybody going to want to read it? Like is it like, do does this matter? Like all the imposterism starts to come in. So I was just, I was just trying to keep myself safe. I was just trying to protect myself from some imagined outcome that wasn’t even happening, but that my brain was like conjuring up. So I just kind of laugh at myself at the end of it and just find that compassion and that self acceptance for, you know, what I thought was going on. 

JANNINE: Fair enough, fair enough. I’m laughing because yeah, on days that I like, for me, it’s like chart notes for insurance, you know, I don’t want to do it. And so yeah, I will find like, what can I bake? What kind of specialty drink? Yeah, it’s hilarious that things will come up with when we’re trying literally to self sooth, you know, self sooth, it all and figure it out. So it’s fun that you put the tapping in and you get that like dialed in. I think for a lot of folks, they’re going, okay, so how would tapping help me to become more me? How does that fit in? So give us a little scoop on like how you vision that and moving down that route. 

THERESA: Yeah, I mean, every time you do a round of tapping, whatever it is that you choose to do it on, I feel like there’s this kind of layer that kind of drops off. And underneath of that, there’s this new perspective or there’s some new aha moment that emerges and that all just kind of snowball into you becoming more authentically yourself. You start facing more things head on. You start moving more resiliently through things, you know, I had a lot of moments as I was writing this book where different things kind of blew up in my face, whether it was because I was kind of poking the hive on my own past or trying to improve my own life through the ways that I normally help other people. And it was totally normal, but like there can be this backlash, you know, in the case of like my husband and I were working on like really like deepening and improving things in our marriage over the course of writing it. And it was working beautifully. And then I noticed coming up against all of these walls of like my own feelings of safety, my own feelings of worthiness, old wounds that hadn’t yet been healed. And it all felt like it blew up in my face. And if that had happened to me 10, 20 years ago, it would have been a totally different outcome. But because I’ve been continuously peeling back these layers and constantly kind of working on elevating my consciousness and expanding my own awareness, I could see what was happening. And we had gotten to a place where like it was very easy for me to share that within the container of our marriage too and be like, okay, this is what I’m feeling right now. You know, I may I may be acting this way, but this is what’s happening behind the scenes. And this is why I’m doing it. And like, can you either can you give me space or can you give me a hug or can you just hold me or like whatever and move through that? So all of that allows us to not just become more of who we are, but to get more of what we want and to create the life that we really want to create in like real and vulnerable ways because we’re accessing our feelings. 

JANNINE: Mm-hmm. No, sometimes accessing feelings is scary, right? Because you don’t know like where did these come from? You’re like questioning like, are they real feelings? Like, did I program myself to have these things? What is this? And when you’re then you’re taking a relationship into the picture and having, you know, relationship deep relationship conversations as I would call my guess. I mean, it takes a whole other level. And I think that it’s important you’re mentioning this because I think a lot of people think when I’m becoming more me, it’s me, me, me, it’s all about me. Well, yes, but it’s also you and who you are energetically connected to and connected to. And that’s it’s huge. So—

THERESA: When you work on yourself, everyone who is connected to you in any way, even strangers who you don’t know and you just pass on the street are benefiting from you taking the time to work on yourself. And there’s a crazy ripple effect that can happen. I see the shirt that you have on the recording this, ripple kindness. And this is as perfect, you know, but there is this like emotional ripple effect that happens and it’s beautiful to see how it happens. I get to see it like in the work that I do with clients and the way that it ripples into their various relationships, their families, even their clients or whatever. I mean, there’s endless ways that this can, this can transverse and it’s so cool, but it’s never selfish. I think that’s the misconception. 

JANNINE:  Yeah. 

THERESA: But, you know, and or I think the misconception also is that being selfish is somehow wrong. But like we can only control ourselves. We can only change ourselves. So like if not selfish, then what? 

JANNINE: Right, right. Because I think a lot of times where we do have that concept of like, you know, yes, I can can, I, you know, I don’t know if I should change myself. I don’t know if I could take the time out, you know, because we are given that programming. No doubt that like taking care of you is selfish, but at the same time, we still try having our heads and I know women, I don’t know how much men do this because I can’t speak for that. But I can speak as a woman. A lot of times we’ll think about like our partnerships, our relationships. Well, why can’t I change them? You know, and and like as I was younger, I was like, why can’t I change, you know, this particular person I’m dating or why can’t I change, you know, why can’t I change my husband’s thought on this? And it’s like, it’s ridiculous thinking about it. But at the same time, I think we also still have that in the back of the minds. But a lot of people will shift when we shift. That I think is what I’m trying to get across.

THERESA: Yes. Absolutely. And you know, that’s something that I’ve seen in various relationships, but I mean, especially in my own, you know, there were plenty of years where I kind of felt like that, like nagging wife or always have those things that I wanted somebody else to change. But I wasn’t looking at myself. And when I like made a pretty firm commitment to like keep withhold my judgments, keep my negative commentary to myself and to just work on changing what I could, it’s amazing how much differently my husband showed up, because he no longer felt, you know, judged or put upon or whatever else. And that’s been beautiful. And that’s, that’s how my book focuses too. Like I’ve been through a bunch of different things, but none of it’s presented in it being anybody’s faults or, you know, that there’s been this wrongdoing to me or whatever else. It’s about like how I can reprocess, reframe and look at things differently so that I can show up differently in my life now. 

JANNINE: That’s like, that’s huge. That’s huge because I mean, it’s easier to blame someone else. I mean it’s absolutely easier. I mean, I don’t blame anybody for blaming other people, you know.  It makes—

THERESA: But it doesn’t fix anything.  That’s the problem. 

JANNINE: Right. 

THERESA: It’s easy, but it makes things harder and we have to do the hard things that make things easier. 

JANNINE: Yes, yes, the hard things that make things easier. That is a powerful, powerful statement when it comes to relationships and family dynamics too, because I think for a lot of people, maybe it’s not a partner, but maybe it’s a mom, maybe it’s a dad, maybe grandma, whatever, you know, brother, sister, there’s, there’s so many family dynamics that can get really muddied in life and things of that nature. Do you go into any of that within your book about family dynamics, when it comes to life? 

THERESA: I do. Again, not from a place of blame, but, you know, I was brought up with a bunch of different, like, well, actually a lack of probably money beliefs, you know, I was brought up and, you know, my family had plenty of money. But never talked about like where it came from, how you get it, like whether it’s good, bad, indifferent, and it was, it became very apparent to me when my parents split how their money beliefs were completely different, you know, and that was really interesting for me to kind of like revisit. And then, you know, having to go through all the stuff, you know, being in separate households, you know, growing up and things like that, talk about that. Yeah, the family dynamics definitely, like, play into things. I love, I love the work of Katie Byron, are you familiar with her at all? 

JANNINE: Yeah. 

THERESA: When it comes to doing like this kind of work or when it comes to blame, especially in like situations where we want to like put it on somebody else, she has like those four questions, you know, that you ask that can kind of basically turn everything back around so that you can take care of it. And it’s, you know, the first question is like, is it true? 

JANNINE: Right. 

THERESA: And then her next question is, can you absolutely know it’s true? Which is so necessary because we love to assume certain things are true that actually aren’t truths. You know, how do you react or what happens when you believe that thought? That’s huge. And then who would you be without that thought? 

JANNINE: Yeah. Yeah. 

THERESA: You know, and that stuff has helped me to work through so many different times when I have, you know, relational issues and things or even as a parent, you know, and I think she, she used this example in one of her books and it’s like, I think of it every time. I kind of thank God that my kids leave socks around because she talks about like how, like, you know, parents get so frustrated how she used to get so frustrated that her kids like leave socks around and she’d get upset with them that they wouldn’t change. And she’s like, you know, like, it was on her like she was the one that didn’t like it. So why shouldn’t she just pick it up and enjoy the fact that now there’s not all the floor? But I, but I love it because every time and I have two kids that love to leave their socks and all sorts of crazy places. And whenever I find them, like, I just pick them up and take them to the laundry room and think of the four questions and try to turn around. 

JANNINE: All right, I got to know what’s the craziest place you found a sock. 

THERESA: Oh, like, on the other day, in a weird place, it was like in the school supply drawer or something. Like I went to get like something out like a new set of like markers or something. I was like, dirty socks in there and I was like, it was bizarre. They’re always like under beds or like they love to leave them as steps. You know, we have a two story, three story home, but like the story going upstairs, we have upstairs laundry. So they’ll come in from school and have a time to put them in the steps. And for me, the steps are a lovely midpoint. And then when I walk up the stairs, I take things with me. But for everyone else in the house, things go on the steps and then you just walk past them indefinitely as they live on the stairs, infinitely. So that’s where I get a little annoyed. But yeah, they’re like always on the steps. Often like if you ever have to like lift up a couch to clean under it, there’s always a sock under there. Oh, at least our orphan sock drawer, as I call it, is it’s immense. There’s usually like no less than like 30 different unmatched socks in there that like, you just don’t know if you’re ever going to find its match again. 

JANNINE: I know that you’re not alone in that situation. It’s crazy. It’s like, where do this? Where do the other socks go? Where do they go? Have you ever tapped on that? Or is it with the markers? There it is folks. Check your home for your markers. You might find socks there. It’s a thing. It’s a real thing. No, I was going to joke on. Do you ever tap on trying to find the socks? 

THERESA: No, but I do sometimes like work on like dropping into like theta to find things that I have lost. Like if it was like like a keys or something that’s actually important or whatever, because like we really can like use our subconscious mind to figure out like where we’ve left things behind. And you know, that’s something I learned from like the silver method years ago, like kind of just dropping into those different levels of consciousness where we can do that. So that I would do. But I don’t think I’m going to make a whole lot of emotional progress trying to tap on where the socks are. 

JANNINE: No, no. It’s just a good conversation. And probably one of the most mysterious things that happens in life in terms of randomness. And everyone has it. It’s a common thing. So let’s talk a little bit more. Let’s talk a little bit more because we’ve talked about tapping, you know, before in previous podcasts, but I want to bring back to tapping a little bit because you’re talking about subconscious mind there and dropping into the Desilva Method to get into theta. A lot of people might have been like, what? What she just say theta and dropping into subconscious, you know, we’re all kind of aware now. So conscious more or less. But but getting into that is somewhat of a tricky thing for folks. So let’s talk about how tapping can get you there. Let’s talk about how different techniques can get you the hypnosis and other thing that you do as well. So it gives us scoop. 

THERESA: Yeah. I think that I mean, hypnotherapy, I think is a little better getting into the subconscious mind than tapping, but we can resolve a lot of things in the subconscious mind with the EFT too. That’s probably why I piggyback the two techniques because I think they’re really good with each other. You know, what you can’t quite work out with one. Usually the other one takes care of. But yeah, I mean, and I think the important thing is that you don’t need to completely understand it in order for it to work. They’re all kind of like scientific to be backed things, but I think a lot of people get a little worried about things like hypnotherapy because they’ve seen, you know, stage acts or things where people are like pretending their chickens or falling in love with a spoon or something like that. And, you know, while that is all, that is hypnosis, you know, and, you know, most of that actually is happening. They know to look for people that are like super suggestive and, you know, it’s done in a way to be humorous. But the way that I use it is more for therapeutic means. And, you know, with any kind of hypnosis, you’re always in control. Like you would not do something that you did not think was for your highest good in hypnosis. And you would not take on any suggestion that you did not align with. So, you know, otherwise I could be, you know, telling people to like, I don’t know, hand over their money or, you know, do crazy things or whatever. And, you know, they would just do it. But it is a suggestible state. It is a state where we get to access the subconscious mind. And we get to kind of like visit different things that have happened over the course of our life without trying to consciously look for these like scenes or occurrences or things, but just letting like the subconscious mind, which is feeling safe in hypnosis to just go and see what it wants to see. See what it wants to show you. If we were doing it consciously, we’d already know the answers, you know, we’ve already spent so much time in that conscious mind. But, you know, we’re not, when we drop into hypnosis, we get to kind of explore things in a different way. And then we get to take on suggestion for the things that we want to change in a different way also. And actually really receive it. You know, it’s one thing to, you know, tell yourself that you are enough. It’s another thing to actually take it in and believe it. And when we can get behind like the gates, so to speak, of the subconscious mind, we can turn that into a new belief and we can transform that or many other things, just an example. But yeah, it just really gives us a lot more power to manipulate things in the way that we want to. 

JANNINE: That’s huge because there’s one of the things that of course, you know, for me in particular was, was hard for me to, you know, I can say it, you know, I’m enough, I’m enough, you know, but, but to believe it, you know, we had jokes about it. And then back and forth about me being like, well, I just got to brainwash myself, which my wording fully take credit for the brainwashing of myself, but that’s what had to happen in my case. And so one of the questions that came into mind quite a bit, just in what you were saying is I think a lot of people might be thinking like, okay, Theresa, so like, I can, you know, I’m aware of where my issues are at. And becoming more me in terms of like, I’m getting there. But the subconscious and the believing and working through that under like, I call it like the low level drone voice that’s in the back of your head or like that little thing that’s, that’s subconsciously kind of always kind of there, the parrot on your shoulder, whatever it may be, for a lot of folks, it’s harder to tap into. And so you were saying hypnosis is better than tapping and at this as a whole in a lot of cases. So if I’m kind of, geez Jannine, get to the point, people are probably like, geez, 

THERESA: You’re fine.

JANNINE: it’s what I’m getting at is like the tapping part is the conscious. You use it in the conscious realm, right? When you’re needing to work through something. And the subconscious is when things like hypnosis can be more effective. So where I’m going is I’d love for you to kind of demonstrate or tell us to folks like, how are you blending them in the book? I know how you blended it for me. We would do some tapping. Then we would do some hypnosis in the same session for folks who are considering doing this or considering doing some hypnosis at home, using to using recordings like what you did for me. How would this play out? Give us a scoop. 

THERESA: Yeah. So I mean, in the book, there’s all sorts of bonus materials. I’m actually going to the recording studio next week to record the audible version of the book.

JANNINE: Ooh fun!

THERESA: Which I mean, I mentioned because ADHD’ers years love audible. I mean, I 99% of my book collection is on audible because I prefer to listen than to actually read the words. And a lot of people like to read and listen at the same time because then you can really take in a lot more. Another fun ADHD thing to do. So and as an ADHDer, I have now forgotten, okay, hypnosis, and EFT in the book, okay, squirrel. So in the book, there’s all these bonus materials. So there’s going to be like tapping rounds for things like resistance to doing things, procrastination, having that compassion for ourselves. When we’re doing different things, there’s tapping in there for money blocks. And then there’s different hypnotherapy tracks that you’ll be able to listen to in the bonus materials also. So all of those things were kind of applied with different chapters, whatever we’re talking about in that chapter, I kind of provide something on that so that people can dive deeper and do that. And in the work that I do with clients one on one, like what you’ve experienced, it’s just a matter of what comes to the table. If somebody is struggling a lot and I can really tell that confidence is the underlying thing, we’re going to use EFT to work through those different scenarios where their confidence has been challenged. Or even to go back, I love to go back to the beginning and really start with those earliest root chakra times in our life and kind of firm things up there. Like the foundation really good and then kind of move forward through any kind of bothersome memories that might have had to do with that or what have you and work that out. But then it’s really great to take a session and just explore through hypnotherapy what the subconscious mind wants to bring to the table. Because we’ve already seen what the conscious mind has wanted to work out. So let’s see what the subconscious has to say. And then now I know all there is to know about the lack of confidence or whatever that this client has. And I know exactly what they want. If I were to be able to wave that magic wand and I’m able to really create a beautiful transformation that they can listen to. And sometimes that means that for a period of time while they’re listening to that, that my voice is the one that they’re hearing when the self-doubt or the lack of confidence comes in. And then as it gets further along, it’s like my voice kind of gets replaced with their own voice and becomes the belief, becomes the new standard for them instead of the way that they used to feel. 

JANNINE: Absolutely. Absolutely. I mean, I think we have to have like a bridge, right? And I felt like having your voice in that was a bridge for me. And then now I’ve moved into recording my own stuff. And it’s even transferred into my husband recording some of his own stuff for him. So that’s kind of cool. I mean, that’s like the next level where we’re. And one person starts to open up to us. It seems like it’s a ripple effect within the house. And so that’s something I want to get here. 

THERESA: And I know you know all about my visualization and affirmation process from doing work with me. That’s in the book also and like ways that people can create that and really use those like positive subconscious questioning methods and things like that to really, you know, get their mind working for them throughout the day without extra effort so that they can do less and be more. 

JANNINE: I mean, clean, I mean, absolutely genius. It like cleans up all of the the minutia over here and here and here. And it’s like this is this is this is a great target and a place to go. I’m so glad that you wrote this book. I’m excited to read it. I tell like of course folks are probably like Theresa. I want to know like what, where’s the book? Where do I find it? You know, where, where do we find you? And I’m still like you tell everybody as to all the details so folks can go and find all of those things because I think at this point it’s just. There’s so many tips that you have in there that are be— that would be so incredibly valuable. I want everybody to know. 

THERESA: So the book is going to be available in all of its forms from you know paperback and hardback to Kindle and am an audible on Amazon and I will make sure that you have the link for your show notes. And I have an awesome resource that you’re already a part of from the last time that I was on your show called the private sessions, which is also a great way to kind of get yourself into the community and get some amazing resources. You can grab that by going to theprivatesessions.com. And as you look at any of my resources or my website, which is TheresaLearLevine.com, you’ll find that I have a free community that you can join on there that becoming more me community. There’s I don’t know at this point, $15,000 with a free resources in the group tons of stuff in there. So join be part of it with love to have you over there with love to have your voice in the community. And you know with the private sessions, Jeanine and I might just record another session today after we’re done and you know added in there so that you know you can tap along with us again because the last one was pretty awesome. 

JANNINE: Just saying guys just saying might have to check this out. So everybody, TheresaLearLevine.com, you’ll get all the good stuff there and I’ll have that in the podcast notes. Of course, Theresa thanks again for coming on and chatting with me. I know we’ll be chatting more in the future since this is something that if I’m so useful for everybody and we’ll take it to the next level with different topics for folks as folks move on. 

THERESA: Thank you so much, Jannine. It’s a pleasure to be here again. Appreciate you. 

THERESA: My pleasure. 

JANNINE: [Outro] Hey fellow health junkie, thanks for listening to the Health Fix Podcast. If you enjoyed tuning in, please help support me to get the word out about the podcast. Subscribe, rate and review and just get that word out. Thanks again for listening. (upbeat music)